


Temper Hot as Fire

by LordCheesecake



Series: Fire and Ice don't mix [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Bending (Avatar), Bending (Avatar), Gen, Growing Up, Shizuo-centric, Some angst, pro bending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 23,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22456276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LordCheesecake/pseuds/LordCheesecake
Summary: To many kids in the neighbourhood, Shizuo Heiwajima was a strange person.Shizuo didn't like to play with the other kids, always keeping a little to himself, or shadowing one of the adults, which was weird. Not that he was invited to play in the first place. He didn't like to talk much, either, preferring to keep his mouth shut rather than chattering his parents' ears off, which was weird. Rumour has it that Shizuo actually didn't know how to speak, that he was too stupid to learn how.But there was one thing that made Shizuo stand out from every other child in that small rural town at the edge of Ba Sing Se.7-year-old Shizuo Heiwajima was a monster.ORShizuo's relationship with his fire bending throughout his childhood
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Kadota Kyouhei, Heiwajima Shizuo & Kishitani Shinra, heiwajima shizuo/self-loathing
Series: Fire and Ice don't mix [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610911
Comments: 18
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, instead of studying for my exam or working on the Fox and the Samurai, I've decided to write this! I've been contemplating writing this for sooo long, since I made this au, actually; and I've finally mustered up the courage to actually start this. 
> 
> This is Shizuo's part, and it's been split into two just cuz it's a little too long to be a single chapter.
> 
> Also!! Because Shizuo and Kasuka grew up in Ba Sing Se, a representation of mainland China, Rather than using the Japanese names for mom, dad, and older brother, I've used Chinese words! 
> 
> Dad - Baba  
> Mom - Mama  
> Older brother - Gege  
> Baby, in an endearing kid of way - Baobei

Shizuo was 5 when he first learned how to bend fire.

He had spent the last few hours with a group of other children at the lake, chasing after lizard-frogs in the shin-high marsh, when Shizuo noticed a stray lizard-frog making an escape. Its murky-brown skin made it nearly invisible as it scrambled up the muddy trail, making it easy for the untrained eye to miss the small creature. But Shizuo was the best lizard-frog-hunter in the neighbourhood. If anyone was going to catch the escapee, it was him.

Stumbling upright, Shizuo ran as quickly as he could through the squishy mud, abandoning his soaked sandals as he began his pursuit. Running as swiftly as his short legs could manage, Shizuo yelled, "A Lizard-frog's escaping!" at the top of his lungs, effectively capturing everyone's attention. "Don't let it get away!" The poor lizard-frog must have been terrified, what with several screaming, mud-caked children with no adult supervision chasing after it.

Taking the lead, Shizuo charged after the lizard-frog as it scrambled onto the street, his chilled feet meeting the sun-warmed pavement as he dashed after the slippery creature. And the lizard-frog was so close! Just an arms-length out of Shizuo's reach.

Without a second thought, Shizuo dove after the lizard-frog, landing belly-first onto the pavement, missing the lizard-frog entirely. Unfazed, Shizuo swiped after it, his fingers barely skimming slimy skin, when an orange-gold glow enveloped his outstretched hand. A few sparks were tossed into the air, but luckily for the lizard-frog, it avoided the embers by a hair, jumping to safety.

Shizuo, on the other hand, was staring at his arm, his eyes wide with a mixture of excitement and fascination. He'd seen his Ma do this many times, sparking fire from her fingertips to light candles and matches, and creating arcs of flames out of thin air. Lifting his hand, Shizuo watched the languid flame trickle past his fingers down to his wrist, not stopping until the licked around his forearm.

"Cool," Shizuo whispered, still staring at his hand as the crowd of other kids finally caught up to him.

"Wow, Shizuo!" one of them exclaimed, "I didn't know you could firebend!" He reached out to touch the glowing flame, pulling his hand back when the heat became too much.

"Me neither," Shizuo murmured in awe as they helped him to his feet. "Let's try throwing fireballs at the lizard-frogs!" he said excitedly.

"Oh, no, you don't," said a low voice behind them. Without warning, two large hands plucked Shizuo from where he was standing. "You, young man, are coming right home."

"But Baba," Shizuo groaned, "we have lizard-frogs to catch!"

"You can go back to the pond later," said a softer voice as his Ma approached. She lifted a hand to clean some of the dirt off of Shizuo's face, and Kasuka wriggled in her arms to reach for his brother. "Let's go home for now, ne?"

"And we have to eat lunch!" Shizuo's Ba said brightly, lifting Shizuo to sit him on his shoulders. "Baba's hungry! And Mama's hungry! And _Kasuka's_ hungry!" he exclaimed loudly, eliciting a small grin from his pouting son.

Reluctantly, Shizuo huffed a small, "fine," and waved goodbye to his friends. "I can walk by myself, you know," Shizuo grumbled, poking at the still-persistent flames coating his arm.

"Why would I let the opportunity to carry my little man around," Shizuo's Ba chuckled. "And you've started bending! This is something to celebrate!" He let out a cheer, jumping around with Shizuo on his shoulders.

"Kichirou," his Ma scolded, smiling at her husband and her son. "Stop that. You'll get burned."

"Come on, Namiko. There's nothing Baba can't handle! Right, Shizuo!"

"Yes!"

When they arrived back home, while Kichirou readied lunch, Namiko took Shizuo upstairs to the bathroom to clean his scraped knee. "You know, Shizuo," she murmured as she pressed stinging antiseptic to the already scabbing wound. "You're a firebender, just like me."

"Yeah, I know," Shizuo shrugged. He didn't know why it was such a big deal. Most of the kids in the neighbourhood could bend too. "It's pretty cool."

"Very cool," his Ma said, applying the bandage to his knee. "A very cool and special gift."

"Gift?"

"That's right. Bending is a gift, an ability that not everyone can do. You have to treasure it."

Shizuo nodded. He looked back down to his right hand. For the most part, the flames had dissipated, though a few lingering embers remained. "Why hasn't it gone away yet?" he asked curiously, poking at the hot skin with the pinkie of his free hand. "Yours always goes away after a little while."

"You've only just started bending, Shizuo. It will take time for you to control it." She took Shizuo's glowing hand in hers. "Just give it some time."

"Ok," Shizuo chirped, trusting the sureness in his Ma's voice.

"Good! Now, let's go see what Baba's made for lunch."

* * *

But from that day on, Shizuo's bending never settled. Instead, it only grew stronger and more powerful, to the point where it was near uncontrollable. It was as if the discovery of his bending had shut off a switch in Shizuo's body, the metaphorical limiter that kept his muscles from tearing his body apart. His firebending summoned an unimaginable power within him that transformed even the most mundane activities into something that needed the utmost care and attention. It was a terrifying burden to Shizuo's shoulders, knowing that if he made one wrong move, he could very well put people into the hospital.

He had tried showing his friends a trick once, something he'd seen his Ma do without much thought, and had ended up nearly burning a poor girl's hair off. Her parents were not amused and looked to Shizuo with disdain every time they happened to cross paths.

After months passed and Shizuo was still a walking fire hazard, the kids in the neighbourhood slowly cut ties with him. They stopped by Shizuo's house less and less frequently and avoided his desk at school, chattering happily with each other as if they couldn't sense the hurt they were causing. They stopped asking if Shizuo was alright whenever he came to school with a new injury; an arm in a cast, bruises over his knuckles, they all turned a blind eye. It even began spreading to the teachers as they stopped calling for him to answer questions and avoided him in the halls.

But to Shizuo, the worst part was the look in everyone's eyes, as if he was about to snap, to lose control and destroy the school in a bout of rage. As if he was a monster.

His parents started calling the school, arranging meetings with Shizuo's teachers to try and work out a way to bring Shizuo back into the classroom environment, but to little avail. 

His Ma was furious. Shizuo knew it. He'd seen her call the school once, and watched how she hissed words into the receiver that Shizuo dared not repeat. Her eyes were narrowed in fury, and her knuckles were straining white from the grip she had on the dining table. She ran a stressed hand through her dishevelled hair, sighing as she was presumably put on hold.

Though Shizuo knew it was for his own sake, having his Ma fret over him -- if he was doing ok in school, with his friends, with his bending, everything -- only heightened Shizuo's anxiety. Should he pretend he was ok when he wasn't? Should he try to make new friends, no matter how hopeless it was?

A roiling sea of stress was building inside of him, unquelled despite his parents' best efforts. And one day, a wave reached its crest, and Shizuo snapped.

It was early in the morning on a Saturday, and Shizuo was ready to start his morning away from school and his worries to watch cartoons with Kasuka. Yawning into his palm, Shizuo jumped down the last two stairs, plodding lazily towards the living room.

"Morning, gege." Shizuo blinked sleep from his eyes and waved a short greeting to his brother, not bothering to say anything. Blindly reaching for the fridge, he felt a little jolt of excitement. A new episode of Shizuo's favourite show was going to be on in a few minutes, and he'd saved a chocolate pudding cup for the occasion. He'd placed it strategically in the back corner of the fridge where no one would be able to take it from him.

...But the familiar cup wasn't there. Frowning, Shizuo took a quick glance through the contents of the fridge and found nothing. "Hey, Kasuka, have you seen my pudding cup?"

"Oh. This one?"

Shizuo didn't remember much from there. What he did know was that things escalated quickly, and suddenly, Shizuo had the fridge in his hands, ready to toss it as his poor brother. Thankfully, his body gave out before he could do anything drastic. All that was left of the incident was a scar, numerous singe marks throughout the kitchen, and a new reason for Shizuo to hate his bending 'gift'.

* * *

It was another late night in the hospital. Another long, sleepless night in the hospital, where he could review the events of the day and trace back the roots of his rage.

It had been Kasuka's first day of school, and someone had made fun of his hair, saying it was too girly for a boy. Naturally, Shizuo snapped, let his anger get the best of him before he could reign himself in, and wound up in the hospital again.

Hot tears of shame welled up in his eyes. Shizuo hated this. He hated his bending, he hated the monster he was, he hated himself.

Too caught up in his self-loathing, Shizuo didn't hear the opening of the door and jolted in surprise when a warm pair of arms wound over his shoulders. Immediately, he jerked out of the gentle hold, horrified that he would hurt them.

"Oh, baobei. It's ok. Mama's here," his Ma smoothed, caressing his head so kindly that Shizuo couldn't help the sob that tore from his throat.

"I h-hate this," Shizuo finally gasped, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Why did you have to make me a firebender? This would have _never_ happened if I was normal. Instead, I'm... I'm a monster."

"You are _not_ a monster, don't let _anyone_ tell you that, understood," his Ma whispered fiercely, drawing Shizuo impossibly closer. "You just need to give yourself some time, baobei. All you need is to be a little more patient." Shizuo didn't say anything, clenching his fists tighter into his Ma's shirt. "There are stories of great firebenders all throughout history, and you know what? They all had a lot of trouble controlling their bending, too. They were shunned from the people around them, but in the end, they became some of the most distinguished warriors in Fire Nation history."

He knew her words were meant to be a comfort, to soothe the self-hatred Shizuo was feeling, but it only amplified the ache in Shizuo's heart.

"I don't want to be a warrior," he whimpered, "I don't want to be a firebender. I just want to be normal."

That night, neither Shizuo nor his Ma slept.

* * *

Shizuo was sitting slumped over the dining table, his hand idly tracing an old scorch mark from one of his countless outbursts. Kasuka sat opposite to him, looking just as bored as Shizuo. Their parents said that they had important news to share with them, and asked that he and Kasuka wait in the dining room for them. Bored out of his mind, Shizuo lazily watched his brother spin two rocks between his fingers, moving them in a slow figure-eight pattern.

Shizuo frowned and stared at his own fingers, resenting his own inability to do such small feats of bending. His brother, at the age of 7, was already a more competent bender than Shizuo was at 10. The flame of jealousy, the one that had sprung up since Kasuka first discovered his earthbending affinity, flared hotter for a brief second. Shizuo would be lying if he said he wasn't a little resentful of Kasuka's earthbending. Not a day went by that he wished he'd been blessed with earthbending as his brother had been.

But rather than dwelling on those bitter feelings, Shizuo tried to remain positive for Kasuka's sake, encouraging his brother's bending the way he couldn't for himself. "That's cool," Shizuo said as he lifted his head from his arms, nodding to the slowly levitating rocks. "When did you learn to do that?"

"Ba taught me the other day," Kasuka said in his usual monotone, spinning the rocks a bit faster. "I've almost got the hang of it."

"Cool. I wish I had as much control as you do," Shizuo murmured wistfully.

"I bet you could. Ma's always trying to get you to practice."

"And let myself destroy half the neighbourhood?" Shizuo snorted to hide how genuinely worried about that very scenario playing out he was. "As if. I think I'm just gonna give up on bending for good."

Kasuka gave him a look, the inklings of a frown gathering at his lips, but he said nothing, staying quiet until their Ba poked his head through the doorway.

"Sorry about the wait, boys," he said, shedding his jacket to hang it on the back of his seat, ruffling Shizuo's and Kasuka's hair as he sat. "Are you ready for the news!"

"Maybe if you gave us a hint about what it might be," Shizuo said with a grin. "What if it's bad news?"

"Why would you think it's bad news," his Ma chimed in with a smile of her own, sweeping into the room to sit beside their Ba. " _I_ think it's exciting!"

"So, what is it?" Shizuo demanded, scooting forward in his chair. Kasuka set down the pebbles in his hands, a gleam of curiosity glowing in his eyes.

"You know how Baba was talking about a work promotion?" The brothers nodded, both vaguely recalling the several phonecalls their Ba had received over the last few months. "Well, I'm getting the promotion!" 

Shizuo frowned. Was that it? All that hype, just to be told that their Ba was getting a promotion?

"But this job is very far away from here. So far that Baba won't be able to drive there and back, even if he took the bullet rail every day. So, your Mama and I were talking... and we decided that we're going to move."

Shizuo's frown deepened as he processed his Ba's words. "Move? Like, move houses?"

"That's right," his Ma said. She pulled out a picture from her pocket and laid it out on the table for Shizuo and Kasuka to see. "We're moving to this city in the Fire Nation. It's called Ikebukuro." Shizuo leaned over to study the picture of highrises and clustered city streets. "It's a lovely city with all kinds of people. We actually lived there before we moved here. Shizuo, you won't remember it, of course, but you lived there up until you were 4 months old."

"Now this might seem a little jarring at first, but it's going to be for everyone's benefit. We're planning to move in spring, just in time for you two to finish the school year here and start a new one in Ikebukuro. What do you think? We can all start fresh in a new town," Shizuo's Ba said, carefully watching his sons' reactions.

"Ok," Kasuka said first. "I think it will do us all good to restart somewhere new. What do you think, Gege?"

Shizuo grimaced down to the table. Though he couldn't exactly say he liked this town, there was no telling on how other people might react to someone like him. At least here, everyone knew to stay away from him. In a new city, surrounded by strangers who had no way of knowing just how dangerous Shizuo was... It sounded like a disaster in the making.

But then again, it wasn't as if he had much choice in their decision. There was a finality to his Ba's tone that made it clear that this whole situation was not up for debate, and that they would move no matter Shizuo's attitude toward it.

"Fine," Shizuo finally mumbled. "I guess it might be exciting."

At least no one would miss Shizuo's absence.

* * *

Just as in Ma's picture, Ikebukuro was indeed a bustling city. The buildings were taller than any of the mountains from their old town, climbing to the sky as if they could reach the heavens. Everything was pushed tightly together, with narrow roads and a claustrophobia-inducing amount of people swarming about.

Kasuka, at the very least, seemed to be handling the sudden culture shock quite well, looking only slightly overwhelmed by everything he was seeing.

Shizuo, on the other hand, only felt more out of his element than usual. Seeing everything so tightly packed together made Shizuo's shoulders tense on apprehension. It made him all the more aware of his hair-trigger strength, ready to spring at a moment's notice.

Taking in a shuddering breath, Shizu clung a little tighter to his Ma's hand as they stepped out of the taxi that had driven them to their new home. He stared up at the bland gray building, squinting where the light reflected off the seemingly millions of windows.

"What do you think, Shizuo?" his Ma murmured, leaning down and pulling Kasuka closer, so she was eye-level to her sons. "Isn't it nice?"

"It's ok," he said, avoiding her eyes in favour of staring at the sidewalk. "There are just a lot of people." And a lot of things he could potentially destroy. "Couldn't we have moved somewhere less... crowded? I mean, what if I do something bad?"

"You won't do anything," his Ma replied confidently, squeezing his hand. "What about you, Kasuka? Do you like it here?"

"It's different, I guess. It'll take some getting used to."

"Don't worry about it too much," their Ba chimed, removing the last of their bags from the taxi and wheeling their luggage into the lobby of the building. He motioned for his family to follow. "Namiko, the movers said the rest of our stuff is already upstairs. Why don't you take the boys to get settled while I talk with the receptionist?"

Ma nodded, taking one of the bags from Ba's hand. "Shizuo, will you help me with the other one?" Nodding, Shizuo carefully gripped the plastic handle, taking a deep breath to steady himself before he started pulling the bag beside him with as little strength as he could manage. "We're on the 4th floor, isn't that cool? I don't think you guys have ever been that high up before."

Shizuo hummed, trying his best to muster up some kind of excitement for his Ma, but it lacked conviction. A short elevator ride later, they were standing in front of a nondescript mahogany door while their Ma fumbled with the keys.

"Here we go." She pushed the door open and bustled her children inside. "What do you think?" she asked as she flicked the lights on. "Home sweet home, ne?"

The apartment was modest and quaint, just large enough to house their small family of four. There was a living and dining room to the right and was connected to a small kitchen area. A hallway to the left led to several clusters of doors, of which Shizuo could only assume were bedrooms and bathrooms. Throughout the apartment, boxes were stacked against the walls, covering a majority of their bland beige walls.

"Why don't you two go explore while I put this stuff away," their Ma offered, setting down the keys in a small ceramic bowl by the door.

"Ok." Shizuo pushed the luggage to the sidewall and carefully toed off his shoes. Kasuka was already poking his head into the bathroom when Shizuo caught up to him, examining the shiny white tiles with that same bored look in his eyes.

"It's smaller than before," Kasuka said. If Shizuo didn't know Kasuka as well as he did, he almost wouldn't have heard the disappointed tone to his words.

"Everything's smaller here, Kasuka," Shizuo chuckled, ruffling his little brother's hair affectionately. Kasuka just hummed, frowning when he turned the bathroom lights off.

"I know. I just wasn't expecting it." Together, the two brothers found their parents' bedroom and their own. Their room was small, significantly smaller than the separate ones they had back in Ba Sing Se. The room was divided in two with a shoji-style divider, and on either side, a futon had been neatly laid out. 

Shizuo gave a frown of his own when he stared into the tiny room, not even bothering to suppress the disappointment welling up inside him. He couldn't help but be a bit nervous, too. In such close proximity to his brother, it would only be a matter of time before Shizuo hurt him.

"I don't like this," Kasuka declared, echoing Shizuo's thoughts. "Can't we go back home."

"Kasuka, stop being so negative," Ma chastised from the living room. "I know it's small, but this _is_ home now. And even though it's going to take some getting used to, we're going to make the best of it!" Kasuka frowned disbelievingly but said nothing more. "If you're done exploring, come help me unpack."

"Come on, Kasuka," Shizuo said, gently flicking off the light. He steered his pouting brother back into the hall. "We'll learn to like it here." At least, that was what Shizuo hoped. His brother, who looked close to throwing a fit, remained silent, blowing a few strands of his hair out from his face moodily. "It'll be fine," Shizuo murmured a little softer this time, daring to squeeze Kasuka's shoulders reassuringly. "We're going to be perfectly fine."

* * *

A week and a half later, Shizuo was wishing more than ever that he believed his own words. Standing in front of the looming gates of his new school, surrounded by more kids than Shizuo could count, it was all so overwhelming. Kasuka, the little charmer, had already been dragged off by a group of kids his age, accepted into a new group as if he belonged here. And with the same sky-blue sweater vest, Kasuka really did look like he fit right in here.

Shizuo, on the other hand, stuck out like a sore thumb. Despite being the same age as all the other 6th years, he was a good head taller than all of them, giving him the appearance of a lost middle schooler. Add onto that his awkward stance in front of the school and the confusion alight in his eyes, most of the other students avoided him. Not that Shizuo expected much else.

In the pocket of his dress pants, Shizuo clenched his fist around the paper his Ma had handed to him that morning. ' _Class 6-C. Good luck!_ ' it read in his Ma's neat handwriting. 

Looking up, Shizuo scanned the crowd, hoping to find someone to ask for directions. But all the teachers seemed occupied, and Shizuo couldn't muster the courage to ask any of the other students. Glancing back down to the paper, Shizuo stepped a little further into the shadow of an overcast tree, biting his lip as he deliberated what to do.

"Hey there! You're looking a little lost, do you need any help?" An unnervingly cheerful voice snapped Shizuo's attention away from the note. A boy was standing in front of him. He had a wide grin and glasses that were too large for his face. His eyes were a little manic for a 6th grader, and when combined with his messy hair, he looked like a mini mad scientist.

"Um..." Shizuo glanced at his surroundings, finding no one else there but him. "Are you talking to me?" Shizuo asked awkwardly.

The boy laughed, "Of course I am! So, do you need any help finding your class? I've never seen you around before, so you must be new, right? I'm Shinra Kishitani. Nice to meet you!" The boy -- Shinra -- spoke at a mile a minute, thrusting out his hand for Shizuo to shake before he could even process what was happening.

"...I'm Shizuo," he said slowly, moving his hand to touch Shinra's rather than shake it out of fear that he would snap something on accident. "Um, I'm a little lost, I guess."

Shinra blinked at Shizuo's odd behaviour but made no comment. "What class are you in? Do you know? If not, we can go ask one of the sensei's." Shizuo handed Shinra the crumpled note, and his eyes lit up when he saw the class number. "Oh! We're in the same class! Here come with me." Without warning, Shinra grabbed Shizuo's wrist and began to bodily drag Shizuo across the school grounds. 

"H-Hey!" Shizuo felt his anxiety spike when the other boy gripped his wrist, half-terrified that his bending would act up and burn the poor boy's hand off. "Quit touching me," he growled, jerking out of Shinra's hold. "Believe it or not, I can walk by myself." He closed his eyes before his temper could get the better of him, but if Shinra noticed, he never said anything.

"Haha, sorry about that!" Shinra chirped, not sounding apologetic in the slightest. He motioned for Shizuo to follow him while he continued to speak. "Celty's mentioned before that I can be a little forceful."

"Celty?" _So this guy_ does _have actual friends, huh?_ "Who's that? Do they go here, too?"

Shinra laughed loudly. "Oh, Shizuo-kun, that's funny. Celty is way more to me than just a friend. And no, she doesn't go here. She's actually a few years older than us."

"So, what, she's your sister?" Shizuo tried again, confused by the strange way Shinra phrased his words.

"Nope!" Shinra declared, popping the _p_. "She's my future wife."

Well, if Shizuo was worried about being the weirdest kid in the school, at least those fears were quelled. "You're a weird kid, Kishitani," Shizuo huffed, grinning slightly at the other boy.

"You can just call me Shinra."

Shizuo nearly stopped in his tracks. It had been a long time since someone had showed him such kindness, especially from someone he'd just met.

"Ok, Shinra."

He only hoped that it would last.

* * *

The morning passed without much fuss. Surprisingly enough, Shizuo seemed to fit in well with the rest of his class. No one suspected that he was a monster in a child's skin, and none of them looked at him like he was a nuclear bomb, ready to explode at a moment's notice. Shizuo hadn't realized how much he'd missed feeling normal until that moment.

"So, Shizuo-kun, are you a bender?" Shizuo looked up from his bento to Shinra. It was lunchtime, and the other had dragged over his desk from the other side of the room to push it against Shizuo's in some strange gesture of camaraderie. "Just looking at you, I can't really tell. You said you grew up in Ba Sing Se, right? Are you an earthbender?"

"...I'm a bender," Shizuo admitted quietly, "but you can't tell anyone! I don't want anyone to find out."

Shinra pouted at him as he pulled the crusts off of his sandwich. "Why not," he whined, "If _I_ were a bender, I would show it off to everyone I know just because I could."

"Yeah, well..."

"Hm. Well, can you at least tell me what element you bend? Or better yet, can I guess!"

"You only have three options to choose from," Shizuo snorted. "I'm a firebender, but if you're interested in earthbenders, my brother is."

Shinra opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a loud _bang_ at the table next to them, causing Shinra to jump and Shizuo to glare at the offending person. They were a trio of boys, all from another class, staring intimidatingly at the duo.

"Yo, Kishitani, did you finally learn how to bend yet?" the first boy said, eliciting snickers from the two boys behind him.

"Ah, Kigo-kun, did you have a nice summer?" Shinra said pleasantly, though he didn't meet Kigo's eyes.

"It was great, thanks. We went down south so I could practice my waterbending. My granddad showed me a bunch of new tricks. Oops! I forgot you don't like it when we talk about our gifts while you don't have anything." Kigo let out a snort of laughter, sounding much like the pig Shizuo saw him as. Noticing Shizuo's glare, Kigo turned to sneer at him. "Who're you? Are you a little non-bender like Kishitani?"

Shizuo gritted his teeth and snapped his chopsticks in half. He stood to his full height, looming over Kigo with a snarl of his own, not even bothering to suppress the rage bubbling inside of him. "Shizuo Heiwajima," he growled, gripping the table until it creaked under the force. "If you don't mind leaving, I'd like to finish my lunch in peace."

Kigo, either unperturbed by Shizuo or too stupid to realize that he was being threatened, just scoffed. "Wow, Kishitani, I didn't know you'd gotten yourself a guard dog while I was gone," Kigo jeered. By then, the rest of the classroom had fallen silent, watching the interaction with interest. "Can't you tell him to heel?"

"I'm not a bodyguard," Shizuo growled, taking a step forward. He could feel heat surging through his body, collecting in the knuckles of his right fist. "And I'm not a dog." In the rational part of his brain, Shizuo knew he was going to regret this, but at the moment, the raw anger surging through his veins felt euphoric. "Now get out before I do something I regret."

Kigo's sneer faltered and he took a step back with Shizuo's step forward. "O-Oh yeah? Do you wanna fight? Because I'll fight you if that's what you really want," Kigo stuttered.

"H-Hey, Kigo, w-we don't have to get violent," one of the boys behind Kigo whispered, grabbing his friend's shoulder to pull him back. "Let's just go."

"No. If he wants a fight, I'll give him a fight!"

Shizuo snapped. "You should have listened to your friend," Shizuo said, his voice deadly calm. "You really don't want to get violent with me." Without another word, Shizuo's arm became alight with flames, glowing golden as they burned through the fabric of his school blazer. Grabbing the collar of Kigo's shirt, Shizuo sent him flying across the classroom in a blind rage. Kigo landed roughly on his back, knocking the wind out of him. His two lackeys quickly rushed to his side, hauling him out of the room and yelling for a teacher.

Shizuo stayed where he was, panting for breath with his eyes screwed shut and willing the adrenaline to drain from his system. When he reopened his eyes, he found himself staring into the horrified eyes of his classmates. And there was that look again. That terror glowing in everyone's faces, staring at him like he was a freak. Like he was a monster.

Lowering his head in shame, Shizuo quickly gathered his things and fled the classroom. He brushed past Shinra, ignoring the other boys shouts as he ran off the school grounds.

* * *

His Ma was already waiting for him at the dining table when he returned home. She was nervously tapping her nails on the table with one hand while the other desperately gripped her phone. Shizuo could only assume she'd been called about the incident, and he felt a hot wave of shame wash over him. Yet again, he'd caused his Ma problems, had given her more stress than she deserved despite being such a kind person.

She must have spotted him while Shizuo was thinking, because all of a sudden, she was standing and making her way to her son. "Shizuo..." She slowly took in Shizuo's appearance, the red painting his knuckles, the way his half-burnt uniform hung off his shoulders, and the splotchy red burns covering his arm, angry and inflamed. She let in a long breath through her nose and silently pushed Shizuo to the bathroom.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked when Shizuo was seated in the counter, his blazer discarded in the trash, and his sleeves rolled up and away from the open burns blossoming on his skin. Her tone was more curt than normal, and her movements a little harsher, all signifying her restrained anger. "Come on, there's no point in trying to hide it."

"There were these kids, and they were bullying someone in my class," Shizuo mumbled, not even wincing when a stinging antiseptic was applied to his arm. "He was...really nice to me, and I couldn't just stand by and let those guys talk down to him."

His Ma sighed again. "That's still not a reason to put your hands on someone else. It doesn't matter how mean they are to you or your friend," she scolded, her words a little softer this time.

"I know," Shizuo whispered, ducking his head until his hair obscured his face. "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him. I just..."

"I know you would never mean to hurt people, Shizuo. You just have to be a little more careful is all." Ma smoothed her hands across Shizuo's cheeks and kissed his forehead. She pulled him into a hug, "Thank you for being honest with me."

Shizuo jerked his head in a half nod, curling his fingers tight against the counter. "Do I have to go back tomorrow?"

"Hm. Maybe not tomorrow," his Ma conceded, "but you can't stay home all the time, ok? And you have a friend to look forward to. You can't leave them alone for too long or else they'll get lonely."

Shizuo didn't bother to point out that after today, his 'friend' would probably stay far. far away from him for the rest of the year.

* * *

When Shizuo arrived at school two days later, he was unsurprised when everyone avoided him like the plague. Word got around fast, and now everyone knew just what a freak Shizuo was. He parted from Kasuka early in their walk to school, hoping to spare his brother the embarrassment of being seen with him.

At school, he tried his best to ignore the whispers that followed him in the halls. His eyes were trained to the ground, his head ducked so far forward that he was practically bowing as he walked.

When he made it to his classroom, Shizuo spent a solid 5 minutes pacing in the hallway, struggling to summon the courage to open the sliding door. He didn't want to see the looks of fear and disgust in his classmates' eyes, didn't want to glimpse the inevitable dents in his desk where his fingers dug too hard into the metal. But most of all, he didn't want to face Shinra, the one person who'd been kind enough to be Shizuo's friend. Shizuo didn't want to see the horror in Shinra's eyes when he realized that he'd almost made friends with an uncontrollable monster.

A light tap on his shoulder made Shizuo jump, rattling the door open by a few inches. "Woah, Shizuo-kun! Careful there!" Shizuo blinked in surprise when he found himself face-to-face with Shinra, grinning just as he did on the first day. 

"S-Shinra," he stuttered, moving to take a step away from Shinra only to walk into the door.

"You weren't here yesterday. I can't believe you left me alone," Shinra complained. "It was boring." With a slight shove, Shinra pushed past Shizuo into the classroom, still speaking as he did so. "You should have come yesterday. When Kigo and his followers passed the class to get to the gym, they ran past as fast as they could!" Shinra made a strange action with his arms. "It was great! I don't think I've ever seen them so terrified in my life! You know, I-"

"Are you not scared of me?" Shizuo blurted, cutting off whatever Shinra was about to say next. "I mean, you saw what I did, are you not worried that I'll do the same to you?"

Shinra shrugged and set down his bag. "No, not really," he replied casually. "Why, should I be worried?"

"I would be if I were you." Shizuo was sure that any rational human being with self-preservation skills should be worried, but then again, Shinra didn't really fit those criteria. "...Are you seriously not afraid of me?" Shizuo whispered, scared of what Shinra might say next.

"Why would I be afraid of someone who's not even that scary?" Shinra asked, seeming genuinely confused by Shizuo's sentiment. "If anything, it's far more interesting to see the sheer strength of your bending. I've never seen anything like it before in a human being! It's almost like your bending allows you to surpass the limits that the human body imposes on us, and I'd love to be able to understand that one day." Shinra continued to gush over Shizuo's power, apparently fascinated by the one show of strength.

Carefully, Shizuo sat in an unoccupied chair, still a little perturbed by how easily Shinra brushed off his inhuman strength.

But a part of him was overjoyed. For the first time in a long time, Shizuo allowed himself to be happy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not /super/ satisfied with how the last scene came out, but hopefully you'll enjoy!

The rest of Shizuo's elementary life was surprisingly enjoyable, peaceful, even. He found himself looking forward to going to class despite the odd scuffles he managed to get roped into every now and then. It was a relief to go to school and be greeted by at least one kind face, even if it was that of a raving-mad lunatic.

Now, however, Shizuo was entering middle school, which was a whole other ballgame. 

Shizuo and his Ma waved goodbye to Kasuka as they crossed a different street leading to Raijin Acadamy Middle School. Raijin wasn't the best school in the area, known for housing the city's uncontrollable, delinquent teenagers. But it was gracious enough to accept Shizuo despite his poor record, and that was more than enough for him to accept their offer.

Shizuo's Ma adjusted his gakuran for the nth time, pulling at the fabric as if the tight fit would suddenly grow to accommodate the width of Shizuo's shoulders. "You already look like you're going to pop out of your uniform, and you haven't even been in the school yet!" his Ma laughed, patting his arms affectionately. "You need to tell me when you decide to go through all these growth spurts, Shizuo! It's rude not to. Mama isn't ready to see you all grown up!"

"I'll try, Ma," Shizuo snorted, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. He tugged gently on one of the too-short sleeves of his jacket, frowning when the seams at his shoulders pulled tighter than he'd intended. The gakuran was definitely small on him, and he wouldn't be surprised if he would need a new one by the end of the week. "Sorry, I really am growing too fast."

"Shizuo, Mama's just teasing you." Shizuo's Ma patted his hand placatingly. "You grow as much as you need to, you hear me? Grow big and tall, just like your Ba."

"But that just means you'll have to get me a new jacket." And new pants, shoes, shirts, just about everything. "It's going to be expensive."

"Nonsense! Nothing's too expensive for my baobei," his Ma cooed, and Shizuo ducked just in time to dodge an embarrassing kiss to the side of his head. "So, Shizuo, have you considered those firebending lessons yet? It's the start of middle school, the perfect time to consider firebending again, don't you think?"

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea," Shizuo said with a grimace. "I'd rather not burn down any more buildings."

"Stop being so dramatic. You didn't burn down a building, Shizuo. And the whole point of bending lessons is to help you control your firebending."

"Ah, there's Shinra," Shizuo said quickly, pointing vaguely to the crowd gathering in front of the school to change the subject. "Are you staying for the entrance ceremony?"

"No, I have a meeting soon, but that doesn't mean I can't get a few pictures first!" she said triumphantly, dragging him over to the wreath of cherry blossom trees by the large metal gates.

A few pictures and a wet kiss on the cheek later, Shizuo was sent off to join the bustling mass of students crowding around the gates. Clusters of students dotted the busy courtyard, chattering loudly amongst each other. There were club representatives everywhere, all yelling at different volumes in hopes of attracting a few disoriented first years into joining whatever they were advertising.

The crowd was like a tide, pushing and pulling Shizuo along whether he wanted to go or not. In some ways, it was comforting. These people didn't know him as the beast that terrorized the halls of his elementary school. No, to them, he was just another face in the crowd, just like any other first-year that was entering Raijin.

But there was a shrill cry of _'Shizuo-kun!_ ' in the air, deflating Shizuo's good mood in an instant. Shouldering his way through the crowd, Shizuo made his way over to where Shinra was incessantly waving at him. "Come on, Shizuo-kun! You have long legs, pick up the pace!"

"Oh shut up," Shizuo grumbled when he finally stumbled to the little clearing Shinra had managed to find. "Did you check the class list yet?" Shizuo asked, motioning toward the three large bulletin boards near the windows of the school.

"Yup! I'm in 1-B, and you're in 1-F."

"That's good. Now I don't have to deal with you the whole day," Shizuo said, ignoring the prick of disappointment he felt.

"Don't worry! I'll be able to bother you during lunch!"

Shizuo rolled his eyes to suppress a grin. "Great."

* * *

Lunch was a welcome reprieve from the boredom of class.

The cafeteria was swarming with people, as was the roof, so Shizuo, Shinra, and a boy from Shizuo's class name Kadota made their way out to the soccer field to eat. Shizuo liked Kadota. The other boy reminded him of his brother, both being cool and collected earthbenders, never fazed by anything that came their way.

Shizuo was finishing the last of his bento when a shadow fell over his lap. He was overcome by a strange sense of deja vu when he looked up to see a group of third-years standing over him, sneering down at him like he was a piece of meat. From what Shizuo remembered of his skim through the school handbook, these guys were walking dress code violations. Their gakuran's were all unbuttoned, and half of them had platinum blond hair that was in no way natural. Some of them even had a few piercings dangling from their ears or studded over their eyebrows.

"Oi, are you Heiwajima?" the guy in front asked, leering down at him as the boys behind him egged him on. His hair was an ugly bleach-orange that had been combed roughly back over his head, and there were a handful of piercings in one ear. He looked about an inch taller than Shizuo but was also on the skinnier side. There were a few jagged-edged stones in his left hand, and the other was tucked into the pocket of his low-riding pants.

"Yeah." Shizuo swallowed the last of his food and closed his bento. "What of it."

"We're just wondering, s'all," drawled one of them near the back. "We hear there's a Heiwajima at this school, thinks he's real tough. We thought we'd give him a welcome gift." The crowd of boys all snickered at that.

Shizuo sighed. _Well, there goes my peaceful life as a regular student_. "I don't want to fight you," Shizuo said, feeling the thin plastic of his bento crack as barely suppressed rage bubbled to life inside him. He reached for his chopsticks, only to have them fly into the first boy's hands.

"Who said anything about a fight?" he jeered, twisting Shizuo's metal chopsticks into an ugly lump with his bending. "We were thinking more along the lines of a _beating_ !" The boy leapt forward to deal the first blow, aiming a strike to Shizuo's face. The stones in his hand were now wrapped around his fist, forming a crude brass knuckle. But before the incoming fist could graze Shizuo's cheek, Shizuo stopped it against his forearm, crushing the rocks against the iron-clad surface of his body. "What the- _crack_!"

Faster than the other boy could react, Shizuo grabbed his collar and struck their skulls together. He tossed the limp body aside in disgust. "Tch, you're gonna start a fight, but can't stay conscious enough to finish it?" Growling, he turned to the rest of the boys, all gawking at him as they finally saw Shizuo for the freak that he was. "' The hell do you guys want?" Shizuo barked, taking a threatening step forward despite his mind's protest to stand down. "You still wanna fight?"

"C-Come on, we can take him! He's just one guy!" Whoever said that went flying. Then, some idiot who was a little too headstrong rushed forward, a thin length of fire erupting from his outstretched arm. Growling, Shizuo moved on instinct. Spinning on his feet, Shizuo shot the flames right back at the boy who tried to catch him off guard.

Everything was a blur after that, a flurry of kicks and punches accompanied by the occasional duck to avoid a stream of heat or a whip of water. The fight was over as soon as it started, ending rather anticlimactically in the centre of the soccer field as the last kid standing pissed his pants and fled.

Taking a deep breath, Shizuo clenched his already-blistering fists and willed his anger to ebb away. He could feel the sweat cooling at his nape, dripping down his neck to soak the shirt. His gakuran, or, what was left of it, was singed and burnt. One of the sleeves was half torn off, pulled at the seams where it had been too tight that morning. Slowly, the adrenaline pumping through his veins like a drug slowed its pace, leaving Shizuo with that familiar empty feeling he always got after a fight. _Ah, I did it again, didn't I?_ That empty feeling ate away at the last of Shizuo's anger, leaving shame and guilt in its wake.

"Good job, Shizuo!" Shinra yelled from across the field, giving Shizuo a thumbs up that made him flinch. "You almost sent that last guy into the net. Try aiming a little to the left next time!"

"Shut _up_ , Shinra," Shizuo growled, feeling the last of his rage flare around him, manifesting in a wave of golden flames. Shinra just laughed it off, but Kadota...

The poor boy was frozen, face pale with shock and mouth slack with surprise. Shizuo internally cursed himself, running a stressed hand through his hair as he hung his head in shame. Swearing himself under his breath, Shizuo stumbled back to the soccer stands with his tail beneath his legs.

"...Sorry," Shizuo mumbled to Kadota, digging his nails so hard into his palms that it verged on pain. "I...um didn't want you to see that."

"No, it's fine," Kadota stuttered, sounding a little shaken. "I just... I didn't expect you to do...that."

"Oh, you'll get used to it. Shizuo does this kind of thing all the time. You should have seen his fight a few months ago. This gang of 3rd years from Kitagawa High came, and- _umph_!"

Shzuo quickly slapped his hand over Shinra's mouth, his ears burning red with embarrassment. "T-This doesn't happen often, I swear. This idiot is just exaggerating." Kadota looked between the two of them and nodded slowly, looking less than reassured. Well, there went Shizuo's only friend in class. He could practically see the events of tomorrow. Kadota would ask to switch seats, Shizuo would be left alone, and rumours would begin to spread through the school like wildfire. "I absolutely despise fighting," Shizuo admitted softly. "I don't go out of my way to find trouble for myself, it just so happens that violence follows me around wherever I go, no matter what I do."

Kadota's gaze was still wary, but his eyes looked less fearful, and his shoulders had lost some of their tension. "I guess as long as I'm never on the receiving end of that punch," Kadota said, framing the words like a joke. He was oblivious to the shudder that ran through Shizuo at the thought of hurting a friend. "Sorry, I'm just a little surprised."

"You get used to it after a while," Shinra piped up again, finally managing to yank Shizuo's hand away from his face. "Shizuo-kun's very kind at heart, so you don't need to worry about anything. Just don't get him angry, and you'll be just fine!"

Shizuo hung his head in shame. For the millionth time in his life, Shizuo cursed his bending for the fear it brought to the people around him. He hated that Shinra even needed to say that, that people needed to walk on eggshells around him. The last thing he wanted was for his friends to be frightened of him, and he was disgusted by the fact that he wasn't disciplined enough to reassure them that they were safe in his presence. 

"You can leave if you want," Shizuo mumbled, just loud enough for Kadota to hear. "No one would blame you. No sane person would want to hang out with me anyway."

There was silence for a few seconds before Kadota sighed. "Do you really take me for that kind of person?" Kadota asked, sounding less accusative and more hurt. "Sure, it's a little surprising, but I'm not just gonna leave because of it." Shizuo's disbelief must have been visible on his face because Kadota sighed again and gave Shizuo a rough pat on the shoulder. "Let's go to the nurse before lunch ends," he said, pointing to the angry red burns blooming on the back of Shizuo's hand.

"It's fine. I barely feel it."

Kadota frowned at Shizuo's nonchalance. "Kishitani-kun, come with us. The nurse's office should have some bandages and burn cream."

"Ok!" Shinra chirped, wolfing down the last few scraps of his food. "I can just get my first aid kit if that's faster," he said after he'd swallowed. "I've gotten pretty good at dressing Shizuo-kun's wounds, and we don't want to make the nurse suspicious." Kadota gave Shinra a sad look before giving a quick nod.

Before Shizuo could object, he was being pulled in the direction of Shinra's locker, away from the destruction of the field. Despite his protests, Shizuo couldn't help but smile. It was alright, he supposed, to have two friends.

* * *

"Have you considered joining the pro-bending team?" Shizuo looked up from his blank stare at the wall to glance at Kadota. It had been a week since the first day, and while most of the other students decided to keep their distance from Shizuo, Kadota stayed.

Shinra wasn't joining them for lunch that day, stuck in class to finish a test he'd missed the other day. Shizuo hummed around to straw of his milk carton before shaking his head. "My bending's too volatile for something like that," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "I'd rather not kill someone by accident."

"You won't," Kadota brushed off smoothly, ignoring Shizuo's disbelieving snort. "You're not as terrifying as you think you are. Besides, one of the managers said that we more firebenders."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you were on the team." 

The pro-bending team at Raijin was rather large for a school their size. Most of them weren't interested in pro-bending or competing at all, more intent on fooling around with the pads in the gym or tossing around the training disks. But there were still a few students who joined because they were passionate about the sport. Some of them even thought they could take Raijin to nationals.

"You really should try out," Kadota said again. "If you're worried about not having a lot of bending experience, the coach is a fire bender. He's fairly capable, too." 

Shizuo hummed again and chewed at the thin plastic of his straw. If he was being honest with himself, he wasn't all that interested in joining the sports team. He'd much rather lay low and keep his interactions with the delinquent kids -- the ones most likely to pick fights with him -- to a minimum.

"Please? I'm one of the only first-years on the team, and it really sucks. Plus, we're doing mock competitions soon, and if I can't find a firebender for my team, we won't be able to practice." Shizuo's frown deepened when Kadota clasped his hands together pleadingly. "Just for one season, please?"

Well, this wasn't what Shizuo _wanted_ to do during his time after school, and he was almost positive that he would come to regret this, but...

"Fine," Shizuo grumbled, crumpling his empty carton in his fist. "But just for this season. When's the next meeting?"

* * *

Shizuo shifted his weight from foot to foot as he nervously waited by the gym door. Kadota had gone in earlier and was talking to one of the managers, a third-year with a tanned complexion and chin-length hair in a style Shizuo had never seen before. There were a few other students scattered around the gym, most of them loitering around and laughing loudly in their little groups. But there were a few of them practicing in groups, bending water on smooth, cyclical motions, and bending stone disks into a raggedy net.

"Chin up, Shizuo-kun!" Shinra yelled, slapping Shizuo hard on the back, though Shizuo barely felt it. With a grin, Shinra lifted the over-stuffed white case in his left hand. "I've got everything covered if something goes wrong, so don't be afraid to really let loose!"

"Shut _up_ , Shinra," Shizuo hissed, refraining from pushing the bespeckled boy into the doorframe out of nervousness. "I should just go," he muttered, "I should have never agreed in the first place. If I leave now, maybe-"

"Yo, Shizuo!" His stomach dropped when Kadota called his name, beckoning him over with a confident grin on his face. After a push from Shinra, Shizuo stumbled over, tugging anxiously at his white gym shirt. He kept his head down, avoiding the curious gazes of the other kids in the gym. He could practically hear some of them whispering about him. "Tom-senpai, this is Shizuo Heiwajima, the firebender I was telling you about."

"Um, hello." Shizuo bowed politely.

"Ah, so _you're_ the fabled Shizuo, huh?" Tom gave him a laid-back smile. "Welcome to the team. I'm Tom Tanaka, one of the managers. If you have any trouble, you can talk to me, the coach, or Chiyo-san, is she's available."

"Oh, no, I'm just trying it out for today," Shizuo stuttered in clarification. "Kadota was pushing me to try it out, and he said your coach is a good firebender."

"Akabayashi-sensei, huh?" Tom chuckled, shaking his head. "He's crazy skilled. Rumour has it that he used to do _Agni Kai's_ for the yakuza in his youth." Shizuo's brows furrowed. What the hell was this guy doing teaching middle school students how to pro-bend? "He's usually not here until a little while, but I can take an assessment of your skills before he gets here."

Shizuo grimaced and looked down at his hands, blistered and covered in scars from the last time someone had tried to _assess his skills_ . "Are you sure that's a good idea? I have... a _lot_ of firepower."

Tom only scoffed. "You'll be fine," he waved off reassuringly, though it didn't make Shizuo feel much better. "I just want to see where you're starting from. Nothing too fancy." He turned to grab a clipboard from one of the benches. "We can work by the fountain if you're worried about scorching something." 

Oh, Shizuo was worried about _far more_ than just that.

* * *

After conducting a short examination of Shizuo's physical health, including making him run a few laps about the field and doing some warmup stretches, Tom led Shizuo to the courtyard. The courtyard was double the size of a classroom and looked reasonably new. The patterned cobblestones were brushed clean of fallen leaves and flower petals, and a gleaming white fountain was bubbling in the middle of the field.

"Right here," Tom said, gesturing to the courtyard before sitting on the fountain's lip. "I just want you to shoot a stream of flame from your fist." He flipped through the loose pages on his clip and looked to Shizuo expectantly. "Go ahead."

Awkwardly, Shizuo shuffled into the yard, keeping a wide berth between himself and the fountain just to be sure. He ignored the over-excited stares from Shinra and Kadota and pushed down the growing anxiety swelling in his gut. _"This is simple, Shizuo,"_ he reassured himself as he dropped into a loose stance. _"It's the most basic move that firebenders use in pro-bending matches. Just throw a punch, and don't add too much force to it."_

Exhaling sharply, Shizuo shot out his right hand. Though the motion of it was smooth and controlled, flames erupted from his outstretched fist with ferocity. Despite his concentration, the blaze was like that of a dragons, powerful and uncontrollable in its destruction. A column of fire exploded from his hand, searing blisters into his skin and resonating in the air with a growling roar.

Shizuo immediately cringed back from the action, jumping back as a gust of heat rushed over his face. The flames crackled and sparked for a bit before fizzling out into the air, leaving the courtyard in heavy silence.

When Shizuo dared to look back to his mini audience, he felt his face go hot with shame. Tom's face was slack with shock, his eyes wide with surprise as his clipboard nearly slipped from his grip. Shinra -- that bastard -- had the gall to start clapping once Shizuo was done, whooping and cheering in what Shizuo could only assume was encouragement. At least Kadota had the decency to stay quiet and instead offered a small thumbs-up.

Shizuo was about to apologize to Tom when an impressed whistle sounded from behind him. The rhythmic tap of a cane could be heard on the polished cobblestone, and Shizuo turned to meet the noise. There was a tall man in an untucked, business-type suit walking up to him. The man had sunglasses on, though they did nothing to hide the long vertical scar on his right eye, and a wide, toothy grin stretching across his face. He didn't look older than his mid-thirties, but he walked with an air of power that spoke to decades of experience.

"Impressive," the man hummed, his voice low and gravelly. "You got a lot of fire in you, huh, kid."

A frown pulled at the corners of Shizuo's lips and weighted a furrow in his brows. "Ah, Akabayashi-sensei," Tom stuttered, standing from his spot at the fountain. "T-This is the new kid Kadota-kun was telling you about."

"Is that so." The man -- Akabayashi-sensei -- gave Shizuo a lopsided grin. "A pleasure to meet you, young man." He clapped Shizuo on the shoulder. "Welcome to the team."

"Oh, no, I'm not going to join," Shizuo stuttered, stepping away and tucking his hands behind him. "I don't want to hurt anyone on accident or anything. I'm only here because Kadota said he needed a firebender to practice with."

"Nonsense," Akababashi-sensei chuckled, waving off Shizuo's concern with a disinterested hand. "Filing the paperwork is a bit of a pain, but that shouldn't stop you from joining the team."

"Um... I really think I should just go home. If you'll excuse me..."

"Now, now, no need to be shy!" Suddenly, Shizuo was being steered back in the direction of the gym. "Tom, what other tests have you made him do?"

"Um," there was the fluttering of pages being turned, "I did a physical evaluation and had him shoot a stream of fire."

"Good! I want to see how well you do with firejabs," Akabayashi-sensei said in a far too chipper tone. 

When Shizuo turned his head to look behind him, Kadota gave him a confident nod while Shinra whisper-yelled _good luck_. Both actions did little to soothe Shizuo's nerves. 

Akabayashi-sensei directed him to one end of the arena and casually made his way to the other. Slowly, he removed his dark blue blazer and set both it and his cane onto the ground. "Ok," he stepped to the middle of the ring, not bothering to remove his sunglasses, "show me what you got."

"Excuse me?" Shizuo spluttered, struggling to maintain his polite tone.

"Show me your firejabs. You know." He dropped his stance a bit, squared his shoulders, and punched the air, shooting out a small jet of bright red flame from his fist. "Fire streams can be useful when you've got far away targets, but firejabs are best when you're up close and personal with your opponent."

Shizuo grimaced at the thought of bending anywhere near another person. "Do you want me to shoot at you?" Shizuo asked sarcastically, taken aback when the coach nodded at him. "Are...are you serious?"

"Just do it," Shinra stage-whispered, jabbing Shizuo between his shoulder blades with his forefinger. "Stop dawdling."

"It'll be fine," Kadota added. "It's not like you're gonna hurt him or anything."

Shizuo frowned, unconvinced. But nonetheless, he stepped forward, squared his shoulders, and curled his hands into fists by his chin. Akabayashi-sensei raised an eyebrow at his stance but said nothing. Taking a deep breath, Shizuo dared a glance down to his trembling hands, praying for the billionth time in his life that he could control his bending.

Shizuo threw the punch.

A short burst of flame erupted from his fist, wreathing his hand in heat. The golden fireball that shot from his knuckles roared and crackled in the air around it, creating a beastly sound. The force of it was enough to send him stumbling into the elastic side-ropes behind him. 

But the fireball was swiftly stopped by a tall wall of bright red flames, erected in an instant with a flick of Akabayashi-sensei's wrist.

"Definitely impressive," the man hummed, nodding approvingly at the spot the fireball once was. "For such horrible form, you managed to make quite a large fireball."

Shizuo blinked, surprised by the... praise? Should he call that praise? "Um... Thank you?"

"You've got a lot of potential, kid," he continued. "With enough training, I could make you one hell of a firebender."

For the first time in his life, Shizuo had been _praised_ for his bending, and it made something warm settle deep in his gut. It sparked a feeling he hadn't felt since he was five: excitement for his bending abilities. Giddy enthusiasm sent adrenaline rushing through his veins and roaring in his ears, so loud that for a brief second, Shizuo wasn't afraid of the damage he could cause.

"So, what do you say? You wanna join the team?"

"Yes, sir!"

* * *

"So, you've had no firebending training at all?"

Shizuo shook his head. "There weren't many teachers willing to teach me when I was growing up."

"Hm. What a shame."

It had been a week since Shizuo joined the pro-bending team. His Ba and Kasuka were supportive of his decision, glad that Shizuo had found a constructive outlet for his bending. His Ma, on the other hand, was a little more skeptical. Though she was never vocal about her concerns, Shizuo could see it in the nervous gleam in her eyes. He knew she was simply worried for him, and he knew deep down that she would always worry for him. But sometimes, it was hard not to feel a little hurt.

"Ok, are you familiar with the rules of pro-bending?"

"Um, I know the basics."

Pro-bending is a sport involving two groups of three from the main bending arts. The objective is to advance into the opposing group's territory by pushing them back or out of the arena. The arena is split in half by the middle line, and each half is further sectioned by two lines. If all three players of one team are forced beyond one of them, the other side advances. 

At the end of each round, the team that advances the most wins a point. At the end of five rounds, the team that wins the most points wins the game. In the event of a tie, one-on-one matches between players of the same bending art are held, and the winner of that match wins the game.

Each bending art has specific restrictions they must abide by. Firebenders, for example, are limited to three-second blasts of fire and lightning generation is prohibited; but are otherwise free to bend in any style they choose. Kadota mentioned similar rules for earthbenders. Metalbending was banned, as well as the combination of several stone disks into larger ones. The clay disks were, however, allowed to be broken down into fragments, but they couldn't be smaller than a five yen coin.

"Good," Akabayashi-sensei said. "Have Kadota-kun explain the rules again if you need clarification. Now, get into your ready position." Shizuo dropped his knees slightly and put his hands up. Akabayashi-sensei clicked his tongue at his stance. "Bend your knees," he said, tapping on the outside of the joint. "Your feet should be shoulder-width apart. Loosen up your shoulders. You won't be able to ben anything to stiff. Lock your elbows." Shizuo adjusted himself, feeling a little embarrassed by his poor form. "There, isn't that better?"

Shizuo shrugged. It _did_ feel better, but his muscles weren't used to it, and his bones protested the altered form.

"I want you to shoot a stream of fire. Just like you did before. Push off your back foot when you throw the punch, and keep your knuckles forward. while you follow through"

Shizuo did as he was told, summoning an explosion of flame that covered nearly the entire expanse of the gym. He winced when embers engulfed his hand, licking biting heat up to his wrist.

Akabayashi-sensei hummed thoughtfully, rubbing at his chin. "Does that happen often?" he asked, pointing to the reddish marks already blistering on his skin.

"Yeah."

"Interesting..." With a tap of his cane, the coach moved closer, igniting a small flare at the end of his pinkie finger. "Notice how when I bend, the exterior is red, and the inside near my finger is yellow? Red and yellow flames burn at lower temperatures, so I'm less likely to get burnt. However, the fire you bend is gold in colour. It looks almost white near your fist, and that indicates to me that you're bending at a temperature that's too hot. Hotter flames are harder to control and do a lot more damage. Of course, that doesn't mean it's impossible to manage," he added after seeing Shizuo's dejected face. 

"Chin up, kid. I have an idea that might work. There was a firebender a lot like you a few decades back. She was a prodigy at the time, capable of bending blue flames, which are much hotter than what you're bending right now. Her trick?" He held up his pointer and middle fingers, pressing them close together. "She only bent with two fingers. She still had the firepower at her disposal but in a far more manageable way. Of course, her bending style was more suited for _Agni Kai's,_ among other things, but with some tweaking, you can make it more suited for pro-bending."

Shizuo grimaced at his own fingers and steadied himself back into position. "So, do you mean like this?" Shizuo shot out his hand, fingers outstretched.

"Less like you're throwing a punch and more like you're slicing with your fingers. Your arm should extend out in a slashing movement rather than a thrusting one. Your other hand should follow through with the motion, so as you extend your bending hand forward, your other one goes back." Shizuo tried again, to which Akabayashi-sensei nodded. "Like that. With most firebending skills, it's important to follow through with the motion to keep yourself fluid. Also, remember to take a deep breath before you do anything, and exhale when you exert any force. A big part of firebending is breathing, so keep it steady."

Taking in a deep breath, Shizuo lowered his body and exhaled quickly, shooting a thin stream of flame out of his fingers. Rather than erupting out of control as Shizuo had expected, these were controlled in a way that Shizuo didn't know they could be. There was still far too much power behind them, but it felt more like an extension of his arm rather than an uncontrollable part of him. An amazed laugh escaped his lips. He almost felt like crying.

"Much better. Let's keep practising that for now. Forget about making your bending look pretty just yet. What we want right now is control."

* * *

Shizuo nervously shifted his weight from foot to foot, anxiously pacing the short length of the change room their school had been assigned. A few of his teammates looked similarly restless, but most of them looked bored or resigned, ready to get it all over with so they could head home early.

The cheap plastic of the bending uniform he'd been given was tight around his forearms and constricted the air out from his lungs. It was covered in light scratches that told of years of use, and his helmet stank of sweat from whoever had worn it previously. There was a red band tied around his right arm with _Raijin_ printed on it, indicating his school and his bending art.

Peeking his head out from the change room, Shizuo spotted several other schools clustered in different corners of the gym. The bleachers surrounding the gym were dotted with people here and there, mostly parents and the odd scout or two, looking for third years that stood out. Shizuo found his own family, sitting in the front row where his school was set to compete. His Ba was holding a camera that Shizuo didn't know they owned while his Ma had a small poster with _GO RAIJIN_ written in bold letters.

Upon noticing his parents, Shizuo immediately ducked back into the cramped room, feeling his nervousness spike. 

"Shizuo, you alright?" A careful hand grazed his shoulder. "Stop being so tense," he chided jokingly, though there was a paleness to Kadota's face that spoke of his own nervousness. "It's only a game. Let's try to have fun."

"Besides, what's the likelihood that you two will even play!" Shinra added in his own encouraging way. Shinra -- after whining about being excluded from their friendship -- had joined the pro-bending team as one of their managers. "You'll probably be watching for the most part."

"Wow, thanks, Shinra," Shizuo grumbled, though he did feel slightly better.

"You're very welcome."

"Alright, everyone," Akabayashi-sensei called, "We'll be going up against Jindai Middle soon, so I want all of you to go out and do some warmups." A chorus of _yes coach_ rang through the changeroom. "Good. Nagisa will be our starting waterbender-" A short third-year girl made a fist pump "-Kadota as our earthbender, and Heiwajima as our firebender." Shizuo felt his eyes widen out of his skull in surprise. Kadota beside him looked just as shocked. For all of Shinra's talk about not getting their hopes up, he was practically vibrating with excitement behind Shizuo. "Keep in mind that you might be called on if things need to change. Now, get out there, you filthy animals."

As the rest of the team shuffled out of the room, Shizuo and Kadota approached the coach. "Um, Akabayashi-sensei? Did you make a mistake when you made the team arrangements?" Kadota asked nervously. 

Shizuo nodded beside his friend. He had only ever played a few matches before, but those were all one-on-one's with the coach or simple sparring with Kadota. He'd never actually played with opponents of teammates before. Hell, he'd never even faced a waterbender before this, and Akabayashi-sensei expected him to be on the starting roster?

Akabayashi-sensei hummed for show and flipped through the papers on his clipboard. "Nope. Teppei's usually our earthbender, but he's on vacation and can't be here for this match. And the best firebender we had graduated last year, so you two are our best bets." He pushed them both in the direction of the door. "It will be fine. Go stretch, mentally prepare, vomit in the bathroom, I don't really care. Maybe strategize with Nagisa how you want to do things."

Shizuo nearly dropped his helmet when he stumbled out the door following Kadota. He turned, ready to protest, but Kadota just shook his head and dragged a fuming Shizuo toward one of the mats to stretch.

"It'll be fine," Kadota repeated over and over, more for himself than for Shizuo.

"Don't stress about it, Kadota-kun," Shinra said, patting his head. "I mean, Raijin's chances of making it far in the tournament were slim, to begin with, so if you fail, it's not totally your fault." Kadota went pale, and Shizuo walked away to the other side of the gym so he wouldn't have to hear Shinra's _motivational words_.

Sighing to himself, Shizuo ruffled his hair and closed his eyes, blocking out the rest of the world around him. Taking a few deep breaths, he dropped into his bending stance.

His movements were steady, surer than they had been the first day, and the movement of his body was miles more confident. Lowering his knees, he shot out two rapid bursts of fire, watching them arc through the air with a roar before dissipating into waves of heat. In the two months he'd spent practicing his bending with Akabayashi-sensei, he mainly focused on controlling quick bursts of flame. It was leagues below the usual tricks that pro-benders use, but he supposed it would be enough for one match. 

Gradually, he felt the tension winding in his muscles ease and felt calm bleed back into his movements. The familiar, repetitive motion quieted the roaring thoughts that were once brewing in the back of his mind. By the time he was called to stand by his school, he felt something akin to confident.

The short girl from before appeared by his side when the team lined up to bow. "Hey," she greeted, flashing him a kind smile. "It's Heiwajima-kun, right? Let's work together, ok? Kadota-kun and I will play more offensively at the front, and you'll stay near the back. Just be careful not to be pushed back, and play as best as you can!"

The referee for the match, a balding man who was already beginning to look terribly bored, blew his whistle and called for the starting team to step forward. There was polite applause from the audience when their names were called out. Shizuo felt his ears burn when his parents cheered for him.

Shizuo stepped over the elastic barrier surrounding the makeshift arena. It was about a metre short on all sides from a real pro-bending arena, but it was the regulation size for middle schoolers. Strips of duct tape were pasted onto the floor, acting as the separating lines between each team's territory. Massive water grates and stacks of disks sat along the sides of the arena for water and earthbenders. 

The referee blew his whistle again. "Round one between Raijin and Jindai, ready?"

Steeling himself, Shizuo bent his knees and nodded. The firebender opposite to him was a tall third-year, looking so damn smug and self-assured that the polite smile he shot Shizuo's way looked more like a smirk. Grinding his teeth, Shizuo just glared down the other boy, feeling his blood boil with the desire to wipe that sneer off his stupid face. His temper flared, and he felt his knuckles creak from the pressure of his fists. 

The starting bell sounded.

Shizuo leaped backward, narrowly avoiding the column of flames barreling toward his chest and threatening to knock him backward. In retaliation, Shizuo shot out a long streak of golden fire, lashing out with whip-like speed in a blinding flash of light.

Shizuo felt nothing but pure triumph at the wide-eyed surprise on the other boy's face as he was knocked straight out of the arena. A satisfying grunt escaped his throat when he roughly landed on his behind, sore but otherwise unharmed. He could hear his Ba whooping loudly from the stands, the sound so glorious in Shizuo's ears that he nearly missed the twin disks shooting toward his feet, threatening to take out his ankles.

He swiftly kicked one out of the way, not bothering to watch as it ricocheted off the elastic barrier. The second smashed into the side of his shin, making him wobble slightly. Shizuo ducked before a third could strike his chest, and he aimed a sweeping wave of fire to the earthbender's legs, knocking them to the ground. 

Ahead of him, Kadota and Nagisa had managed to push the opposing team's waterbender to the end line. Panicking, the waterbender sent a whip-quick shot of water at Kadota's neck, distracting him enough to inch away from the edge. Nagisa-senpai dashed closer, shooting jets of water into the opposing waterbender's side, sending them stumbling into their earthbending teammate who'd just managed to regain their balance.

Taking advantage of the opportunity, Shizuo released a powerful pulse of flames, knocking both of their opponents straight out of the ring in one move.

For a second, everything was silent. Shizuo, too stunned to realize what he'd just done, merely stared at the groaning heap that was his opponents. A brief flash of horror pierced Shizuo's stomach. Had he hurt them? Would they be ok after this?

The referee blew his whistle. "Round one goes to Raijin, making the score Raijin, one, and Jindai, zero."

And then, they were standing, caressing a few tender patches of skin, but otherwise alive and well. No broken bones. No concussions. Nothing.

"Yes! Shizuo!" His Ba yelled, jumping up from his seat along with Shizuo's Ma, who was clapping loudly beside him.

"Shizuo!" Shinra screamed from the sidelines.

Shizuo felt a rough hand clamp down on his shoulder. "Dude, that was amazing!" Kadota exclaimed. "I know this sounds crazy, but we might actually have a chance!" Nagisa-senpai, who bounded up beside Kadota, nodded vigorously.

Shizuo was at a loss for words. He felt like laughing and sobbing at the same time.

"Is both Raijin and Jindai ready for round two?" The referee called, beckoning them back to the centre line.

Still shaky with adrenaline, Shizuo readied himself once again. The uneasy look his opponents were shooting at him only made his blood pump faster.

"Round two between Raijin and Jindai, ready?" There was the shrill call of the bell.

And Shizuo never felt more alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has another idea for who to be the coach other than Aka-baka, I'm all ears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This became very self-indulgent very fast.

In the end, Raijin ended up losing their match against Jindai. In the third round, Jindai changed their strategy, sending out a team of third-years that obliterated Raijin. Jindai's team was swift enough to evade Shizuo's bending and coordinated enough to consistently push Raiin out of the arena.

And yet, despite the crushing disappointment of failing to win his first-ever pro-bending match, more than anything, Shizuo felt _pride_.

Pride in _himself_ , a feeling he hadn't felt in years, and pride in his _bending_ , something he'd never possessed before.

When his family intercepted him on his way back to the change room, they swept him up in a bone-crushing hug, ignoring the sweat clinging to his skin. His Ba ruffled his hair with gruff affection, and his Ma murmured soft praise of how proud she was of him and all the effort he put in. Even the usually reserved Kasuka had a smile on his face as he congratulated his brother, looking up at Shizuo with wide-eyed awe.

Overwhelmed by the sensation of it all, Shizuo couldn't help the few tears that slipped down his face.

It was that feeling that solidified Shizuo's resolve to continue pro-bending. He craved the adrenaline rush as his bending yielded to his will, and revelled in the pure satisfaction the feeling of control brought. How could he stop now?

* * *

"Wow, Shizuo! Your hair!"

Shizuo fiddled with the light-gold locks that were beginning to stray into his eyes, glancing self-consciously at the bleached strands. "Is it that bad?"

They were standing in the middle of Raijin High's bustling courtyard. Raijin High was a building just a short walk away from Raijin Middle, with only a short path connecting the two schools. Unless students managed to get high enough scores on entrance exams, most of the middle schoolers graduated and went here. Shizuo and Kadota chose to stay in Raijin, mainly for Akabayashi-sensei's coaching and a lack of motivation to take additional entrance exams. Shinra, on the other hand, got accepted to several prestigious schools in the area but turned them all down in favour of staying in Raijin.

"No, it looks great! You look like a walking yield sign!" Shizuo snorted at the accuracy of the statement. After all, it was what he was going for.

Since around the middle of his second year of middle school, the number of fights Shizuo found himself getting caught in was increasing. It had grown from the petty squabbles he encountered on the hall or the lunchroom into full-blown brawls in the middle of the field. Sometimes it was a group of brats his age, intent on proving themselves by taking down the infamous Shizuo Heiwajima. Other times it was gangs of high schoolers. One especially horrible time, a group of adults, all wearing the same dark jacket with bright embroidery, jumped him in an alley while he was heading home.

No matter how much Shizuo dispised the fights, he couldn't seem to pull himself out of them. It didn't help that his hair-trigger temper had only grown with his age, leaving him more and more likely to fight back once he was in the thick of it. With each brawl Shizuo unwillingly took part in, he felt himself grow a little hollower on the inside. It was as if his bending was scorching away the good he had left in his soul, leaving only rage in its wake.

The fights eventually became so frequent that Shizuo earned himself a title befitting of his reputation: Raijin's Golden Dragon.

Shizuo _hated_ the name with a passion. Rather than frightening off hopeful challengers, it only served to heighten Shizuo's reputation. It attracted worse and worse people, and eventually, Shizuo had enough.

And so, over the week-long break between his graduation from middle school and the start of high school, Shizuo made the split-second decision to bleach his hair. With Kasuka's help, his hair had gone from deep chestnut to a vibrant shade of wheat-gold. Even though it made him look even more like a delinquent than his resting scowl face did, it would hopefully ward off any interested challengers.

"It almost looks like your bending," Kadota said thoughtfully, turning his head to watch the way the golden strands caught the light. "It suits you more than I thought it would."

"Thanks," Shizuo laughed. "Do you think it'll ward people off?"

"Nah, I don't think so. But you look the part. A real golden dragon," Shinra chirped, making Shizuo's shoulders sag.

"It looks great, Shizuo," Kadota said consolingly, patting Shizuo on the back. "You just got here, right? I already found Tom-senpai at the pro-bending team's booth. Apparently, the coach is pretty strict when it comes to who gets on the team, so we might have a better chance if we make a good first impression."

"I guess..." Shizuo mumbled, still feeling a bit down from Shinra's comment. "I thought Akabayashi-sensei would be the coach." 

Kadota shrugged. "I heard a rumour that Akabayashi-sensei and the coach here have some sort of grudge against each other. Apparently, Akabayashi-sensei isn't even _allowed_ in the high school gym because they hate each other so much." 

"I heard they tried to kill each other a few times," Shinra added. "The principal had to step in and separate them. They got into fights as high school kids too, nasty ones from what I've been told. Some of the senpai's said that one of their scuffles led to that scar on Akabayahsi-sensei's eye!"

Shizuo raised an eyebrow but didn't question it.

He wasn't one to judge, of course, having had those feelings of anger towards other people millions of times. But how could two people hate each other _that_ much?

"And is there a name for this terrifying man?" Shizuo asked, humouring Shinra's fear-mongering tendencies.

"The Blue Demon," Shinra hissed, cackling in his mad doctor laugh. "Aozaki-sensei. Not as cool as Raijin's Golden Dragon, but definitely something to remember!"

Kadota led them through the crowd to a tiny booth beneath a shaded sakura tree. Two interested students were hovering around the table, chatting idly with the managers and a few other members of the team. But the _Blue Demon_ , as Shinra called him, wasn't there.

"Tom-senpai!" Kadota called, drawing the attention of Tom. He was leaning against the trunk of the sakura tree, laughing with a few of his friends. "Good morning."

"Morning," Shizuo and Shinra echoed in unison.

Tom gave them a smile. "Kadota-kun, Shizuo-kun, Shinra-kun. It's good to see you guys again. I see you didn't make it out of Raijin, huh?"

"Kadota and Shizuo didn't even take any extra exams," Shinra said with a laugh, elbowing the two in the ribs.

"Well, this idiot decided to stay when he could've gone to a way better school," Shizuo grumbled, shoving Shinra playfully in retaliation, knocking Shinra's glasses askew. "That's probably more to laugh at."

"At least _I_ was accepted to a different school."

Tom snorted at their antics. "It's good to see you guys haven't changed."

After a few minuted spent catching up, Kadota cleared his throat, "So, is the coach here? We heard that he's pretty strict with who he lets on the team, so we want to make a good impression."

"Aozaki-sensei? He's not here now, but you guys shouldn't worry about not getting on the team. He already knows about you two."

"Akabayashi-sensei told him about us?"

"Uh... not exactly. Some of the older managers for the middle and high school teams meet up before tournaments," Tom explained. "The managers usually trade notes, and it's a big responsibility for the middle school managers to tell us about notable players that might come to our team. The previous manager, Karui-san, told us all about you two, especially you, Kadota." Tom grinned and gave Kadota, who had turned a light shade of pink, a clap on the back. "Don't worry too much, guys! Aozaki-sensei's... Aozaki-sensei, but he'll put you on the team if he thinks you'll be useful."

"Tom! Let's go to class before Haru-chan gets there! I want to surprise her!" One of Tom's friends, who'd strayed closer to the building, called, waving the other boy over.

"Coming!" Tom yelled back, "I'll see you guys later. Tryouts are tomorrow after school, so don't be late!" He gave them a short wave before quickly joining his friends.

"Oi, Shinra," Shizuo asked once Tom disappeared into the crowd of students. "Why the hell weren't you at those meetings?"

Shinra laughed nervously at Shizuo's low tone. "Ma, I just had things to do at home, is all." Shizuo glowered at him. "...Ok, so I was leaving early to see Celty, but she's finally starting to accept my advances! The other day, she let me hold her hand while we watched a movie, and -- Shizuo? H-Hey, Shizuo!? Come on, it's not like I did something bad or -- _Woah_!"

* * *

As it turned out, Aozaki-sensei was the complete opposite of Akabayashi-sensei. Aozaki-sensei was a broad-shouldered man with such deep-set frown lines that Shizuo was surprised he could make any other expression. The man had a near-constant scowl on his face and barked out orders as if the fate of the world rested upon them. Even Shizuo found himself cringing away from the man's scrutinizing gaze.

But for as terrifying as the man was, he turned out to be a pretty decent coach. Unlike Akabayashi's hands-off, you-get-what-you-put-in style of teaching, Aozaki was completely hands-on. He ran drills and spent time with each bending art, working on improving their skills. Rather than focusing solely on the students who were there to compete, Aozaki seemed intent on nipping at the heels of slackers and pushing everyone to their limits.

Even on the day of tryouts, the man brutally tested everyone's athletic abilities. Shizuo wasn't sure of how many push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups he did that day, but he was sure it was nearing the thousands.

However, to Shizuo, this display of physical ability was rather meaningless. His enormous strength was enough for him to breeze through most of Aozaki's harsh tests of athleticism. What he was more nervous about was the bending part of tryouts.

Despite practicing as much as his body would allow, Shizuo had still only mastered a few moves. He had the basics down, and he was controlled enough to perform them with little concentration. Higher-level techniques, though, were still foreign to him. Most of the time, if he ever found himself in a pinch, Shizuo would brute force his way through his opponents, knocking them back with a wave of flame too powerful to block or dodge. But he hardly ever implemented a strategy with his teammates.

A part of him felt reassured by Tom's words from yesterday, felt confident that the managers' glowing reviews of him would guarantee him a spot in the team. But the other part was fully convinced that his lack of technique and moves other than simple flame whips or fire jabs would get him rejected immediately.

And so, Shizuo nervously paced the gym while everyone else panted for breath. Another first-year had collapsed to the ground, gasping for air like a fish out of water while a few sympathetic seniors fanned his sweating face.

"The hell are you lot doing standing around for!" Aozaki barked. "Walk around the gym, get your heartbeats down! I don't need anyone fainting on me!" He gestured roughly for the exhausted students to get up, slapping them all harshly on the back. "That's the spirit, walk it off!" Slowly but surely, everyone picked themselves up to stagger around the gym. Everyone except Shizuo, who was caught in a back-and-forth between certainty and extreme anxiety. "Oi, you!" Aozaki yelled directly at Shizuo, snapping him out of his mind. "What are you doing just standing there!"

Shizuo blinked owlishly at the coach. "Um...are you talking to me?"

"HAH?!" Shizuo took a long step back as Aozaki began furiously toward him. "I just told everyone to walk, didn't I!? Why the hell aren't you walking!?"

"I was just lost in thought. Uh, Sir," Shizuo tacked on at the end, just in case.

Aozaki scoffed as he scrutinized him. "I guess you're lookin' alright. Heiwajima, huh?" Shizuo nodded. Aozaki hummed, nodding to himself. "Then I guess you're up first. Min-na!" he hollered, drawing the attention of a pretty young woman with wide, black eyes who quickly rushed over. "We're starting with Heiwajima."

With that, Shizuo was unceremoniously pushed to the other side of the gym, making him wonder if Aozaki and Akayabashi were really all that different. 

"Just do what you know. Not that I'm expecting all that much with that smug bastard as your teacher." Aozaki chuckled at his own insult, either ignoring or completely missing the way Shizuo's face paled.

_"This is it,"_ Shizuo's mind sighed, already mourning his missed chance to get on the team. _"There are always local competitions."_

"Well? What're you waiting for!"

Shizuo quickly got into his regular stance, ignoring what felt like a million pairs of eyes glued to his form. With two quick flicks of his wrist, Shizuo shot out two blazing white rings that arched and soared through the gym. They neatly crossed each other in midair before crashing into the fire-proof mats on the other side of the gym. He imagined that if there was an actual target, the attack would strike their sides, knocking them off balance. 

Internally, he patted himself on the back for the small victory. Flaming arcs were one of the more difficult moves Akabayashi had taught him. It had taken weeks for him to get his fire to curve perfectly, and even longer to get the timing and the aim down. He performed the move once more, this time letting the ring graze the ground and uppercut into the air, mimicking a strike from below.

Next, he whipped out his arm and shot out a quick burst of fire, the jab extending nearly a meter into the air before extinguishing itself. Fire jabs were the only close-combat move he was good at, but it required his full concentration. Shizuo hadn't even used it in a proper match because he was worried that the embers would explode into an uncontrollable blaze if his focus so much as flickered. But at least now, they seemed controlled and uniform with the perfect amount of power behind them.

Distantly, he realized that these short puffs of flame weren't all that impressive, but to Shizuo, it was a testament to how much he'd improved.

Finally, Shizuo loosened his shoulders and let his restraint on himself relax. Shizuo dropped into a low stance, more fit for an earthbender than a firebender, and after a few seconds of thought, braced his left hand firmly on the inside of his right elbow. He wasn't as worried that his bending would throw him back as he was when he was younger, what with all his muscle and experience, but a little extra stability wouldn't hurt.

Taking in a deep breath, a massive column of flames shot from his two fingers, sending a rushing wave of heat back at him. The air roared with the intensity of it, searing through everything in its path. But as quickly as Shizuo released it, taking a cautionary steps back. He nervously counted the seconds that the fire crackled through the air, exhaling a sigh of relief when the gold flames dissipated in under three seconds. 

This move was risky; if he extinguished the flames too fast, it wouldn't do enough damage. At the same time, if he was bending for too long, the team would get penalty points.

It was gratifying to hear the shocked murmurs around him, and inwardly, Shizuo preened at the attention. Spurred on by the crowd, Shizuo kicked out his leg and shot out another stream of liquid gold flames. He wasn't as used to kicking, though, and he wobbled rather clumsily for a bit before stabilizing.

Finally, just to show that he knew more than just offensive techniques, Shizuo slammed his palms onto the ground. From his fingers extended a tall wall of impenetrable fire, a golden shield of blazing white light that forced Shizuo to squint at the brightness of it. He knew that a move like this would most definitely get them a yellow fan in a real match, but it was impressive. Akabayashi had told him that bending immense walls of flame like this one took years for firebenders to master, and he'd done it while he was in middle school.

Panting, Shizuo pushed himself up off the ground and caught his breath. He wiped his brow of sweat and turned to face Aozaki. Some of the other students were gaping at him, and he heard the name _Raijin's Golden Dragon_ uttered under their breaths like a curse. Suddenly feeling ashamed, Shizuo ducked his head and scuffed away some of the ash that was gathering at his feet.

"That's all I know," Shizuo mumbled with a bow, feeling himself grow more self-conscious with each painstakingly silent second that passed.

Finally, Aozaki nodded and scribbled something down on his sheet. "Good. Yamazaki, you're next!" A willowy thin first-year abruptly stood straight, and stiffy walked over. "Good job, Heiwajima. You can hit the showers for now."

"Uh," Shizuo started, scrubbing his palms on his school-issued blue track pants. "Aozaki-sensei, did I make the team?"

Aozaki gave him a side-eye that made Shizuo want to shrink away. "The names of people who made it on the team will be posted on the gym door in two days."

"But did I do well?"

Aozaki barked a laugh and slapped him roughly between his shoulder blades with force enough to make Shizuo stumble. "You got potential, kid. Now go hit the showers."

_"What the hell does that mean?"_ Nodding blindly, Shizuo wandered off toward the benches, grabbing his water bottle to take a long swig from it. 

"Nice job, Shizuo!" Kadota congratulated, jogging up to Shizuo's side. "I think you really impressed him."

"You think so?" Shizuo said doubtfully, raising an eyebrow. "He said I have potential, but maybe that means I could be good, and I'm just not good enough."

"Since when did you get so negative." Kadota shook his head. " _I_ think you did fantastic. Your moves may have been simple, but they're powerful. Aozaki-sensei would be stupid if he didn't put you on the team," he added very quietly at the end before giving Shizuo a reassuring smile.

Shizuo snorted, still skeptical but feeling a little better. "Whatever you say, man."

* * *

After two days of anxious waiting, Shizuo found both his and Kadota's names printed on the thin leaflet of paper posted on the gym's smudged window.

* * *

 _"Coming, just give me a second!"_ Shizuo moodily blew a piece of hair out from his face as he waited for Shinra to answer the door, grimacing at the other boy's cheerful tone. It was getting late in the evening, and Shizuo's patience was beginning to wear _very_ thin. Shizuo would much rather be home, but he wouldn't dare walk into his house looking like _this_. He couldn't scare his parents like that.

Finally, after what felt like hours of waiting, Shizuo heard the _click_ of a bolt sliding in the lock and the familiar creak of the door. "Hello?" Shinra poked his head out the door before giving him a pleasant smile. "Shizuo-kun! What's up?"

"I think you know _what's up_ ," Shizuo growled, feeling his anger simmer back to life when Shinra's expression didn't change. 

Earlier that day, just as Shizuo was heading back from practice, he stupidly decided to take a detour through the park. It was early autumn, and Shizuo wanted to see the reddish-orange hues take over the green of spring. Unfortunately for him, Shizuo hadn't seen the gang of adults stalking him, following him from school and ambushing him in the park. Shizuo didn't notice their presence until one of them took a ballsy swing at his shoulder with a heavy steel pipe, intent on shattering bone and spilling blood.

It didn't take too long for Shizuo to fend off his attackers, but the scuffle left more than a few marks on his body. There was a bruise forming over his cheek accompanied by a thin red cut from when someone wearing a ring punched him. A snapped pipe had managed to score his side, cutting a long, deep stripe into his skin that was beginning to itch. The scarred skin along his knuckles was split open and bruised, blood dripping down his fingers in a snail-slow trail.

"Are you gonna let me in or not," he snapped, feeling more and more restless the longer he stood in the doorway.

"Ah, of course." He stepped back to let Shizuo in. "Just let me put down a towel before you sit down. I don't need more bloodstains on the couch!" Shizuo just grunted in response, toeing off his shoes with more force than was necessary before stomping into Shinra's apartment.

Celty, Shinra's flatmate and supposed lover (Shinra's words, not hers), was sitting on a barstool in front of the kitchen counter. She had a set of headphones over her ears and was jotting down notes from whatever university textbook she was reading.

After three years of stories, Shizuo had finally met the elusive Celty five months ago. She was three years their senior with pale ivory skin and delicate features. Her shock of orange hair and olive green eyes clearly marked her as a foreigner in Ikebukuro. 

But what was most noticeable about her was the jagged scar running around her throat. Shinra had told him that the mark was part of the reason why Celty was living with him and his father and had warned him in passing not to mention it to her or stare at it for too long. 

Celty looked up when Shinra rushed past her, tucking one headphone behind her ear as she glanced behind her. Shizuo watched her eyes go wide with shock and worry. Instantly, she up and off her seat, abandoning her work in favour of hurrying to Shizuo's side. She grabbed Shizuo's arm and led him to the towel-covered couch as if Shizuo needed assistance.

[Oh my God, are you ok?! What happened!] Celty quickly wrote on her phone, her eyes darting from one bruise to the next. [Were you jumped again?]

"I'm fine, this is nothing," Shizuo said, taking in a few calming breaths. "I've had worse before."

"Exactly," Shinra said pleasantly, dragging a comically large first aid kit into the living room. "Shizuo-kun will bounce right back, just like he normally does. Ne, Shizuo-kun?"

[That doesn't mean he's not hurt _now_!] Celty insisted. [Should I get an ice pack for the bruises? Do you want some water?]

"Yes to both of those, thanks," Shizuo replied.

Shizuo shrugged off his stained blazer and threw it to the ground. There was no point in trying to salvage the ruined fabric. Bloodstains these deep couldn't be washed out, and tears this ragged couldn't be mended. He unbuttoned his shirt next, hissing when he pulled wrong on the forming scabs and when the removal of the fabric tore open some of the wound.

"That looks like a nasty cut. What was it this time, a rusty piece of rebar? A knife? Either way, I hope you got your tetanus shot renewed!"

"Shut the fuck up, Shinra. I'm not in a good mood."

Shinra quieted after that, busying himself as he worked to stitch Shizuo's flayed skin back together. He grabbed a rubbing alcohol-soaked cotton ball with a pair of tweezers and proceeded to dab at the scabbing scrapes.

Shizuo's eyes wandered after that, looking to find something else to focus on other than the rage boiling in his gut. In the corner of the room, Shizuo couldn't help but notice an over-stuffed suitcase. "S' that your dads?"

Shinra looked over to where Shizuo was looking. "Actually, that one's mine."

Shizuo blinked in surprise. A few weeks ago, Shinra had excitedly mentioned that his father would be taking part in some documentary. _"It's about the illegal street fighting in Chengzhen! I'm pretty sure they're focusing on cage fighting and the effects on the children living there. They want a medical professional there to assess the health and safety of the rampant street children! Dad said I'm not allowed to go, though."_

"Heh, yeah, I know," Shinra have Shizuo a self-satisfied grin, misreading Shizuo's shock for awe. "Dad said as long as I do my homework, he'd let me tag along. He even said I might be able to help out!"

"Uh, good for you, I guess." He looked back at the suitcase, which was bulging out the sides from how stuffed it was. "Do you really need that much stuff? Isn't it, like, a week trip?"

"Oh, no. It's actually been extended to a month!"

"Huh. Cool. When do you leave?"

"This weekend!" Shinra answered with an excited gleam in his eyes as he pulled the last stitch into place. "I can't wait! I've never actually been out of Ikebukuro before! Or, legally, that is!"

Shizuo decided not to think too deeply about what Shinra had just said. "Are you going, too?" Shizuo asked Celty, who had taken a seat on a perpendicular couch. She nodded.

[I'll admit I'm not as eager to go, but it'll be nice to see somewhere new.]

"Well, have fun, I guess," Shizuo said, watching Shinra tape a clean square of gauze over his side. "Thanks." He hefted his bag closer and pulled out his gym windbreaker. "Have a nice trip. Try not to annoy anyone to death."

Shinra squawked out an offended noise while Celty's shoulders shook with laughter. "Well, there goes any chance that I'm bringing _you_ a souvenir!"

Shizuo just chuckled and slipped his shoes back on. "Thanks, Shinra," he called over his shoulder, letting the door close behind him with a soft _click_.

* * *

Shinra came back to school just days before the winter pro-bending season was about to start, his arms laden with cheap trinkets and stories to tell.

They were sitting on the steps to the gym as they scarfed down their lunch. More specifically, while Shizuo and Kadota inhaled their food as fast as they could and Shinra ate at his own, leisurely pace. Seeing as it was so close to their first high school competition, Shizuo and Kadota were intent on training as much as they could. Shinra, however, was set on telling them all about his trip, and all about a certain boy, he'd met.

"I'm telling you guys, this kid was _weird_! I saw him in the park a few times, and he wasn't even doing anything! He was just sitting and watching people, and he'd do it for hours and hours! But he was a nice guy... Or, maybe that's not the right word to describe him with... But that doesn't matter, it's his bending I wanted to tell you guys about!"

_That_ caught Kadota's attention. "What bending art is he?"

"He's a waterbender, and he's crazy skilled! It was amazing watching him bend. He was super violent, but it was incredible, kind of like you, Shizuo." Shizuo just hummed, not really paying attention. "He actually owes me a favour now, so maybe I can ask him to come here and bend on our team!"

"Better not. Aozaki-sensei would probably scare him away."

"Who cares about some kid you met on the street," Shizuo said, putting away his bento. "You'll probably never see him again. And in those cage fights, you fight to incapacitate your opponent, right? That sounds awful. If he willingly did that instead of trying to find other work, he must be a lousy person inside." He zipped his bag shut and stood, ignoring the nagging discomfort in his gut.

He couldn't help but think that maybe if he'd given in to his violent tendencies as a kid, or if he found gratification in the crunching of bones and the singing of flesh, he would have been just like that street kid.

"Let's just go practice. It's not like that street kid matters anymore."

* * *

They ended up losing their fifth game 3-2. It was a disappointing loss, especially seeing as, if they'd won this game, Raijin could have gone to nationals. 

He remembered the way the exuberant cheers slowly died, and how the enthusiastic grins fell away from people's faces. Kadota had invited three of his friends from other schools to watch the match, Walker, Erika, and Togusa. And Shizuo remembered their crestfallen expressions when they saw the score and the defeated way they lowered the hand-painted banner they brought.

But what made it worse was the feeling of guilt that ran through Shizuo's body.

If only he'd aimed that last shot a little more to the left. If only he'd reacted a second faster. If only he hadn't gotten that yellow fan at the beginning of the match.

If only, if only, if only.

* * *

In Shizuo's second year of high school, he met a girl named Vorona. She was in the same year as him and was a transfer student from a country somewhere in between the Fire Nation and the Northern Water tribe. Like Celty, her features were visibly foreign, with naturally pale blond hair and grey eyes that gleamed lavender in the sun.

She was another potential member of the pro-bending team going through Aozaki-sensei's trial of hell. But she stood above everyone in skill and elegance, going through Aozaki's brutal tests with a grace that Shizuo didn't know was possible.

Naturally, she made it onto the team, along with a handful of other students.

"My name is Vorona," she said in a soft, almost monotone voice. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Shinra gave her a broad smile and gave Shizuo a not-so-subtle nudge forward. "I'm Shinra, one of the managers. If you have any trouble, you can talk to Shizuo!"

"Uh, hello," Shizuo said gruffly, bowing lightly. "I'm also a firebender, so if you have any trouble, you can come and find me."

Vorona gave a nearly imperceptible nod. "Understood. Please take care of me, Shizuo-senpai."

* * *

After that, Shizuo found himself running into Vorona everywhere. Even though they didn't share the same homeroom, he found himself bumping into her in the hall, spotting her in the cafeteria, and waving goodbye to her at the front gates.

"It's fate, pulling you two together, how romantic," Shinra sighed one day when the three of them crashed over to his house. Shizuo choked on his tea while Kadota snorted a laugh.

"Me! And Vorona!" Shizuo spluttered, wiping his mouth of spilled tea. "The hell are you talking about?!"

"Oh, sweet, innocent Shizuo-kun," Shinra sighed, shrugging dramatically. Shizuo felt his blood pressure spike at the movement of it. "Doesn't even understand the basics of love."

"As if you know any better," Shizuo growled, setting down his cup forcefully on the coffee table.

[Do you think she likes you?]

"No way! Vorona's my Kouhai! I don't see her like that!"

"Tell that to her." Kadota smirked at him over the lip of his cup. "Don't you think it's just a _little too_ convenient that you two are _always_ bumping into each other?"

"No," Shizuo replied incredulously. "I see _you_ in the halls every day, and we're not in the same class."

"I'm just saying, it's a little too convenient for me."

[I asked if you think _she_ likes _you_.] Celty said again, shoving her phone screen into Shizuo's face. [Maybe she likes you, and you don't know it yet.]

"That's stupid," Shizuo insisted, ignoring the chuckles and amused looks his friends were giving him. "This whole idea that Vorona likes me it stupid. I'll ask her tomorrow to prove she doesn't like me."

* * *

"Affirmative. I have feelings for you, Shizuo-senpai."

It was official. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Are...Are you being serious?"

"I do not believe I've put on a humourous tone to my words. I am merely answering your question with the truth, and that truth is that I have romantic feelings for you."

* * *

They started dating after that. Neither of them were of a particularly romantic nature, but Vorona seemed content to simply be by his side. Shinra and Kadota teased him for a while about him, calling him oblivious and taunting him on the fact that it was Vorona who confessed and not him. But it eventually died down, and they returned to the general monotony of their lives.

It took Shizuo a while to get used to seeing Vorona next to him all the time. Vorona joining him during lunch, Vorona waiting outside his class so they could walk together until their paths diverged, Vorona pressing surprise kisses to his cheek. It was all foreign to Shizuo, but he didn't find himself hating it.

And so, he ignored the fact that his feelings for Vorona had remained utterly platonic. _"I'll have feelings for her eventually,"_ he reasoned at the beginning of their relationship. _"It's just because I don't know her that well yet. That's all."_

But after nearly a year of dating, Shizuo still didn't find himself in love with Vorona. 

He started to question why he just couldn't love Vorona the way she loved him. Was he not trying hard enough? Was he in love with someone else, but just didn't know it? Did he even like girls? Was... was he _gay_ or something?

That last thought made him nervous. It was true that he hadn't had a crush on a girl before, but he'd never had a crush on a guy either. Eventually, his thoughts began to consume him, and he asked Celty if she could meet one night in the park. He needed to talk to someone, and he knew no one better than her.

Sitting on the swings, Shizuo fiddled with his fingers as he struggled to find the words necessary. Celty sat patiently beside him, phone in hand and ready to give advice.

"I...um," he started before faltering. "I think... I'm..."

[Take your time.]

Shizuo sighed. "I don't think I'm in love with Vorona," he said in a rush, wincing at the loudness of the words in the air and the bitter taste of truth on his tongue. "I'm not in love with Vorona," Shizuo repeated.

It took a while for Celty to respond. [I'm not sure I understand.] Celty finally said. [You two have been going steady for so long now. Do you really think you don't love her anymore.]

"I don't think I've ever loved her," he confessed, his shoulders sagging with invisible guilt. "I accepted her confession because I thought I could fall in love with her eventually, but I still haven't and I-" he shut his mouth before he could continue his train of thought.

[What is it? You can tell me, Shizuo. I won't tell anyone else.]

Shizuo ducked his head, his voice no higher than a whisper, "I don't know if I like girls."

Celty was silent. There was only the sound of cars rushing past to fill the air between them. For a horrific moment, Shizuo was sure Celty was going to shun him.

But instead, Celty pulled him into a hug.

[There's no shame in that, Shizuo] she said, her fingers hitting the keys with audible taps. [You can't change that about yourself, and it's not a bad thing.]

Shizuo breathed out a shuddering exhale. "Thanks," he finally murmured, leaning into Celty's gentle touch. "But what am I going to tell Vorona? I feel awful. I don't want to break her heart."

[Well, you'll feel worse if you keep leading her on, won't you?]

"Yeah," Shizuo sighed, closing his eyes. Celty always gave the best advice.

* * *

Shizuo broke up with Vorona the next day. 

Thankfully, she didn't seem too shaken by the revelation. In fact, she almost looked like she had been expecting it, nodding along with Shizuo's words with a blank expression.

"I will admit this comes as a slight shock, however, I've felt this coming for some time," Vorona said after Shizuo was finished. "While it hurts me, I understand that we have drifted apart throughout our relationship, and I accept the fact that you no longer hold romantic feelings to me, Shizuo-senpai. I do hope we can remain, friends, though."

Vorona had taken the break up with more grace than Shizuo knew was possible, and he was eternally grateful for that.

But just because Vorona took it well didn't mean that others would, too. Shinra had looked at him like he'd gone insane, but Kadota, like Vorona, looked like he was expecting it.

"To be completely honest, you never really seemed in love when you looked at her," Kadota admitted after Shizuo had done it. "I thought that you were only staying with her because we pressured you into it."

"I don't understand!" Shinra wailed beside Shizuo. "You two were perfect for each other! Both blond, both firebenders, both introverted, both on the same team." He ticked off all the points on his fingers.

"It just... wasn't working," Shizuo said awkwardly, not feeling entirely comfortable with admitting his... confused sexuality. "Either way, we agreed that it shouldn't get in the way of us being friends."

Shinra eventually accepted that Shizuo and Vorona were done for good, but not after a few half-assed attempts to get them back together.

* * *

"Alright, that's enough! Hit the showers!" Aozaki yelled, shooing everyone off to their respective changerooms. "Good work today!" There was a chorus of _Yes coach,_ and everyone stumbled off.

Shizuo wiped a thin layer of sweat from his brow with a towel, panting lightly. Usually, Shizuo went over to the middle school gym to practice with Akabayashi, seeing as Akabayashi was better suited for coaching Shizuo. But today, Aozaki was running firebending drills, and Shizuo couldn't afford to miss those.

"Here, Shizuo." Shizuo nodded in thanks when Shinra handed him his water bottle, suddenly feeling painfully thirsty. "Ma, Aozaki-sensei really pushed you guys, huh?" Shizuo just grunted. "Ah, you guys made it too hot in here," Shinra complained, fanning himself. "Let's stop by the convenience store on the way back.

"Agreed," Shizuo panted, wiping his mouth. "I want Gari Gari Kun."

"Good work today," Kadota said tiredly as he walked toward them. "Urgh, I'm exhausted," Kadota groaned, his shoulders slumping as he leaned his weight in Shinra, ignoring his protests of " _you're sweaty, get off!"_ and _"you're crushing me!"_. "You must be exhausted, Shizuo. You guys were working on adding firepower to your attacks, right? God, going full power for that long? How the hell are you standing?"

Shizuo just shrugged. "I'm fine. We gotta prepare for the summer tournament, anyway."

"Heiwajima!" Aozaki suddenly barked, making Shizuo jump. "When you're done, I wanna see you in my office."

"Yes, sir!" Shizuo answered, elbowing Shinra sharply in the ribs when he whispered a mocking _you're in trouble_ in his ear. Aozaki nodded before trudging into his office.

"What was that about? Did you do something to annoy him?" Shizuo shook his head at Kadota's question.

"Even if he did, it's not like Aozaki would take him off the team when it's so close to the competition. That would effectively kill our chances!"

"I'll deal with it later." Shizuo turned and headed into the changeroom. "It shouldn't be anything too important."

* * *

"Heiwajima." Aozaki's voice already sounded tired, which wasn't a good sign. "Take a seat." Shizuo nervously did as he was told, tugging at the fire-proof athletic tape still wrapped around his fingers. He didn't dare to talk before Aozaki prompted him. "I was speaking with your homeroom teacher today," Aozaki started, searching for a few papers lying on his desk, "and she told me you didn't fill out this form yet."

Shizuo grimaced when he saw the title; **FUTURE PLANS**. He had his own copy, crumpled up and stuffed to the bottom of his bag. 

"She said it's been three days since she handed it to you, and asked me to talk to you," Aozaki continued. He folded his hands in front of him. "So?" he prodded. "Got any plans for your future? College or university on your horizon?"

"Not really."

"Don't try to fool me, kid. I know you've got universities offering you pro-bending scholarships. Are you not thinking of accepting any of them?"

"I've given it some thought, but even if I accepted it, my grades aren't high enough for me to get into one of their programs."

"Some schools give exemptions for these kinds of things, especially if they're well known for their sports. It wouldn't hurt to take a look."

"...I'll think about it when I get home," Shizuo conceded, not wanting to provoke Aozaki into barking his wisdom at him.

"Your grades might not be great, but you're a damn skilled pro-bender. Loathe as I hate to admit it, Akabayashi really trained you well. It would be a shame if you gave up on the sport and went straight into the workforce. I'm being serious when I say to think about it tonight. You don't _need_ to go to university, but don't cut pro-bending from your life just because you're going straight into a job." Aozaki gave him a long look before jerking his head to the door. "Don't keep your friends waiting, Heiwajima."

Shizuo nodded and stood, bowing slightly. "Thank you, Aozaki-sensei."

"I'll see you on Thursday, Heiwajima."

* * *

"I still don't see why you two don't just accept one of the sports scholarships," Shinra said for the nth time that day as he closed his shoe locker. "Even _Vorona_ accepted one!"

It was a few days after Shizuo's talk with Aozaki, and that damn future career form was beginning to drive Shizuo mad. Coincidentally, Shinra was starting to do the same.

"You were both offered scholarships at Rikkyo, right? Do you know how _strong_ their sports teams are?! They're one of the top six in Tokyo! Don't you know how many people would _kill_ to be scouted by Rikkyo! You two could go play for a _top team_ if you wanted to!"

"Well, that's the problem, isn't it," Kadota sighed. "I _don't want_ to go to one of those schools. From what I've heard, the players don't even get paid for playing, it's just that their first year of tuition is free. After that, you have to pay for school, sports, food, all on your own". He counted off all his points on his fingers. "It's just not worth it in the end. If Vorona's happy, then good for her, but I know I'd be miserable in university. And I'm perfectly content with my apprenticeship position."

Shizuo sighed. Why couldn't he have his life planned out, too? Shinra had long since been accepted to his top choice medical school in Shinjuku, just a short subway ride away from Ikebukuro. And Kadota had taken a carpentry apprenticeship at one of the smaller colleges in Ikebukuro's city centre. It was only Shizuo who didn't know what he was going to do in a few months.

He felt his shoulders sag with defeat. "I'll probably just go straight into the workforce," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe I'll join a community team or something."

"Well, that's just a waste, isn't it? If you're going to be miserable, at least do it in college or something." Shizuo felt the metal of someone's locker dent beneath his fingers at Shinra's words.

"Don't stress out about it too much for now," Kadota said placatingly, sensing Shizuo's frustration. "You still have a while to decide, right? The deadlines aren't for another week."

Shizuo just groaned, sinking to the floor with defeat. "Let's just go," he moaned. "I'll think better while I'm walking." Shizuo stumbled to his feet and trudged defeatedly out the school. He knew stores were hiring all around the city, but what business would hire the scourge of Ikebukuro. Maybe if he went further out of the city centre, near the border between Ikebukuro and Shinjuku, but Shizuo was almost positive that his name had spread further than that. He would probably have to travel out of Tokyo if he didn't want his reputation to come with him.

Caught in his discouraged daze, Shizuo almost didn't notice the man in a brown suit, waiting just outside the front gates. It was only when Kadota and Shinra stopped that Shizuo looked up.

Sitting outside on the brick border of a flower patch was Tom. He hadn't changed much since Shizuo last saw him at his graduation, with the same braided hair and laid back smile. But there was a light fuzz of stubble on his chin, and the evidence of sleepless nights beneath his eyes.

"Tom-senpai!" Kadota greeted delightedly, picking up his pace to greet the older man. "It's been a while. How are you?"

"Yo, Kadota, Shizuo, Shinra." Tom gave them all a smile, just enough to lift Shizuo's spirits somewhat. "I'm doing great, thanks. I actually came over because I wanted to talk to you and Shizuo. But I thought we could catch up a bit first if you two have the time."

"Ah, well, we're actually walking back with Shinra today, but-"

"No, no, don't worry about little old me," Shinra interrupted Kadota. "That just means I have more time to spend with my darling Celty." He swooned slightly, and before Shizuo knew it, the other boy was darting around the corner, waving as he bid a short farewell. If Shizuo hadn't known any better, he would have said that Shinra was excited to leave. 

Actually, scratch that, Shizuo knew for a _fact_ that Shinra was excited to leave.

Tom took them to a small, hole-in-the-wall joint called Russia Sushi, a strange restaurant with an even stranger menu. Outside, a very tall, wide-shouldered man in a chef's uniform was calling to people on the street and handing out flyers, frightening off more customers than he was drawing in.

"Welcome, welcome!" he greeted in stilted Japanese. "Come inside, eat sushi! All very fresh, perfect for growing boys!"

Inside, another man was standing by the counter, finely slicing through fillets of fish with a long, thin blade. He nodded at them in greeting, his eyes blank as he gestured to an empty booth to his right.

"Man, it really has been a long time since we've talked, huh?" Tom chuckled when they were seated, taking a sip of the complimentary tea. "Feel free to order something, it's on me for stealing your free time."

"It's no problem, Tom-senpai," Kadota said, waving his hands while Shizuo peered down at the suspicious menu. "How's university? You went to Wakayama for sports medicine, right?"

Tom gave them a sheepish look. "Actually...I dropped out a while back. That's actually a part of the reason why I wanted to talk to you guys. I'm thinking of starting a pro-bending team, and I was wondering if you guys were interested. Ah, of course, if you're not interested, I totally get it," Tom said, backpedalling slightly. "I was just wondering if you guys were interested."

"I am," Shizuo said before he realized he was speaking. "It would be a private team, right? Just me, Kadota, and a waterbender?"

"Yes, that's the plan."

"Do you have a waterbender yet?" Kadota asked.

"No, but I know a few people from university who might be interested. It'll be a lot of hard work, raising the money to enter competitions and making money on the side for rent and other things, but I knew that if I was going to ask anyone, it would be you two. I'll give you a few days to think about it, and it's totally cool if you decide against it. I just thought it would be a good opportunity."

Kadota looked conflicted. He had an apprenticeship to consider, after all. But Shizuo's mind was already set. "I'm in," Shizuo said firmly. "I'm planning on directly going into the workforce anyway, so it wouldn't hurt me by joining. I'll deal with things later if they don't work out."

Tom looked a little surprised by Shizuo's quick answer but it was soon replaced by a broad if a little relieved smile. "Great. I'll send you the details, but you should probably talk to your parents about it first."

* * *

Shizuo casually brought up the topic at dinner that night, idly mentioning in passing conversation that he'd seen Tom in the afternoon. He danced around with his words for a while, flitting about the subject as he mustered the courage to tell his parents.

"Tom's making a pro-bending team, and he asked me to join," Shizuo finally said, hoping that the rapid words would come off as casual rather than a blurted out secret.

"Really? While he's still so young?" His Ba looked surprised, but at least he didn't seem off-put by the idea. "Good for him. I hope that goes well. Are you thinking of taking him up on the offer?"

"I'm not so sure yet, but I'm thinking about it."

"Shouldn't you consider the offers you've already been given?" his Ma fretted, her lips pursing with concern. "Didn't Rikkyo reach out to you twice? I've done some research and their sports are ranked top in Tokyo. Maybe you should consider going there first before thinking about Tom-kun's offer. I mean, starting a whole new team?" The frown pulled harder at the corners of her lips as she shook her head. "It's so hard to get very far. Don't you think you'll find more success with a well-known team?"

"Shizuo's already very well known, Ma," Kasuka remarked, giving Shizuo an amused look. "You could probably tack on his name to any team and people would notice." Shizuo glared at his brother, who was looking surprisingly smug for having such a calm expression on his face. His parents, though, didn't understand the reference.

His Ma sighed. "Well, it's not about popularity, Kasuka, it's about supporting yourself as an adult living on your own. Don't get me wrong, Baobei, your Ba and fully support you, you know that. We just want you to consider your starting point. Sports is such a difficult industry, I'm sure you know that already. And you should take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself to you. If you're telling me you want to join Tom's team, I'm not going to stop you. But I'm not going to lie and say that I'm completely ok with your choice."

"Your Ma and I just want to make sure you make the best decisions for your future, Shizuo," his Ba added, seeing Shizuo's disappointment. "At the end of the day, we can't make those choices for you, we can only guide you. Are you thinking of taking Tom up on his offer?"

"Yes," Shizuo admitted quietly. "You guys know I wouldn't do well in university. My grades aren't strong enough."

His Ma looked less than pleased. "Shizuo, you really have to consider these things. This could change your life! Don't make your decision before considering all of your options."

But Shizuo already had. Thinking back, he was likely waiting all this time for this opportunity, for this perfect opportunity. Shizuo had made up his mind, and there was nothing that could change his mind now.

* * *

The sky was the deepest shade of blue on the day of their graduation. It was right after the ceremony, and Shizuo felt a warm feeling of satisfaction settle in his chest. He remembered seeing his Ma and his Ba in the middle row, clapping and cheering as if their son was winning the Nobel Prize, not getting his diploma.

He was waiting in the huge crowd of students, clapping an openly-weeping Shinra on the back and snickering at a teary-eyed Kadota. "W-We did it, guys," Shinra sniffed, taking off his foggy glasses to wipe his eyes. "I-I'm so... _proud of us!_ " Shinra burst back into another round of sobs, and Kadota had to turn his back to regain his composure.

"SHIZUO!" Shizuo turned just in time to see his Ma and Ba barreling toward him. He hardly stumbled when they crashed into his chest, wrapping him up in a hug. "That's my boy!" his Ba said affectionately, leaning up slightly to ruffle his son's hair. "I'm so _proud_ of you, Shizuo."

"We all are," his Ma added, bringing his head down so she could press an affectionate kiss to his forehead. "If Kasuka didn't have school, he would be right here with us."

It had taken his Ma a long time to accept Shizuo's scholarship rejections, and he could still see worry in her eyes whenever Shizuo brought up the topic at home. But at least she wasn't outright condemning the idea.

But at least Shizuo knew he wasn't alone. After about three days of deliberation, Kadota also took Tom up on his offer, becoming the second official member of the team. Similar to Shizuo, Kadota's parents hadn't taken the news too well. Kadota had mentioned that his mom still refused to talk about it. But their friends were all overwhelmingly supportive, with Kadota's otaku friends already claiming themselves their biggest fans, and Shinra vowing to sponsor the team on behalf of his father's company, Kishitani Pharmaceuticals. Vorona had even volunteered herself as Shizuo's apprentice, vowing in her usual way to visit every day and train with them.

"Thanks." Shizuo pulled his parents into a hug, feeling his cheeks hurt from how widely he was smiling. He choked back the lump in his throat and wetness growing in the corners of his eyes. "Stop it, you guys are being embarrassing. It's just high school graduation."

"This is _very_ important," his Ma scolded, running her thumb lovingly across his cheek. "And let us embarrass you a bit, we're proud." Shizuo scrunched up his nose but didn't have the heart to push his parents away.

"Will you be back by dinner?" his Ba asked as he patted Shizuo's shoulders.

"Yeah, we're just going to lunch."

"Don't eat too much, ok? Mama's making a big dinner to celebrate." His Ma pressed a particularly wet kiss to his cheek before pushing him back to his friends. "Shizuo, we really are very proud of you. You've come so far, and we couldn't have asked for you to come out any different." His Ma's eyes welled with tears before she quickly wiped them away. "Come on, Kichirou, let's leave Shizuo to his fun."

"Don't have too much fun." His Ba pulled him into a tight hug before following his Ma back into the crowd.

* * *

About a week after graduation, Tom showed him and Kadota around the office he'd rented, which was situated right above Russia Sushi. 

The space Tom had called his office was dingy and cramped, just a bit larger than Shizuo's shared bedroom with Kasuka. But there was an enormous window spanning the whole back wall, creating the illusion of open space. In front of it was a scratched up desk, juxtaposed next to a brand new leather chair. The table was well organized, but Shizuo knew the orderly space would soon be overtaken by chaos.

"Do we really need an office?" Shizuo asked with a huff of amusement, setting down a box of supplies.

"Of course we do. When we get big and famous, we're going to need to do a lot of PR and interviews, so we should look professional... That and I'm technically helping Simon and Denis manage some things for Russia Sushi." Tom scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "I don't want us to appear like a rookie team from their parent's basement, y'know?"

"It's pretty nice," Kadota commented, looking out the window to the bustling street below. "Definitely not your average rookie team."

"Heh, I know, right? I've also worked out a deal with a local pro-bending dojo, so we have weekdays after 7PM reserved specifically for us." 

Shizuo raised an impressed eyebrow. Most of the rookie teams he knew of were lucky if they could practice at a school gym or community centre, let alone a pro-bending dojo. 

"Shizuo, I know you were interested in living here, right? Simon and Denis were kind enough to lend us an extra room, so you can take that."

"No, that's too much," Shizuo said, refusing more out of a sense of propriety than protest. He had been thinking of moving out for a while. Even though he didn't hate sharing a room with Kasuka, they were both grown boys, and it was getting kind of awkward. 

Plus, Shizuo enjoyed the idea of privacy. He hadn't had a room to himself since he lived in the Earth Kingdom.

"Don't be shy. Bring your stuff around some time, and you can get settled. And there's one more thing we still have to decide." Tom pulled open one of the desk's drawers, fishing out a slip of paper. "I know it's early, and we can't register just yet, but I thought it would be cool if we gave the team a name." Tom slid the paper onto the table and grabbed a pen.

Shizuo thought for a while. He'd completely forgot that they would need a team name. 

Kadota pulled his phone out from his back pocket. "I'll text Erika. She's usually good at these kinds of things."

"She'll just give us some random ass names. The Tokyo Ghouls or some shit."

"No, she won't. And she dropped that anime a while ago."

They spend the next half hour or so arranging the office to their liking, placing trinkets on Tom's desk and sweeping the grimy floors as clean as they can get them. Finally, Kadota's phone pinged. Kadota quickly scrolled through the list of names Erika had generated from them.

"Heh, we can be the Golden Dragons," Kadota snickered, earning himself an unamused look.

"No way. My parents don't know about that, and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Fine." He listed off a few more names, some better than others. Shizuo cringed whenever the name _dragon_ was mentioned, and Tom violently shook his head when Kadota said "the Flying Jabberjays."

"What about the Golden Leopard Bears?"

Shizuo repeated the name in his head a few times. Surprisingly enough, despite the callback to Shizuo's nickname, it was catchy and rolled off the tongue nicely. "That's actually not terrible."

Tom nodded. "It's eye-catching, perfect for business cards. And it gives us a team colour, it's perfect! Thank Erika for me." He grabbed the pencil and quickly wrote it in the box labelled, **TEAM NAME**. "Alright, guys! It's my pleasure to officially invite you to join the Golden Leopard Bears, Ikebukuro's prodigious rookie team!" Tom handed them both a pencil so they could write in their names.

Shizuo gratefully took it, staring down fondly at the paper. 

He couldn't help but think back to how untamed his bending was just a few years ago. He never imagined in a million years that he would be on a pro-bending team, excited for games and no longer terrified of his own power. 

It seemed like a lifetime ago that he was first learning how to control his bending and a surge of gratitude towards Akabayashi, the first bending teacher who believed in him, and Aozaki, who helped fuel his love for the sport. His lovely parents, who put up with his uncontrollable bending for the longest time and still loved him until the end. His friends, who stood by his side when everyone else saw him as a monster.

He felt emotion swell in his throat and sting his eyes, and with conviction, Shizuo signed his name on the page.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending's kinda stilted, but hey, sometimes things just don't go your way.

**Author's Note:**

> Love it? Hate it? Please let me know! I'd love to get some feedback on what people think and get some ideas of other oneshots to make for this mini series! So far, I have two others planned, but having extra ideas to go foo of won't hurt!
> 
> Also, the reason why I didn't add an airbending as a prominent feature in this au is because I kinda hate how TLOK retconned the whole air-bender genocide that happened. I thought that bringing all the air-benders back to suddenly defeated the impact of only having one family of air-benders left in the whole world, so most of the events in TLOK basically didn't happen.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!! Lemme know your thoughts! Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated!!! Stay tuned for the next part!!!


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